Introduction

[grimgrinningghosts]

[You wake up in a bed.

A rather comfy bed, but as you open your eyes, you realize that this room is not one you’ve ever been in before. And even the most villainous of you should notice that something is immediately very off by how morbid your room looks. While generally clean, it looked dark and like it was a part of a very old house.

And that “Rest in Peace” throw pillow really isn’t doing the room any favors.

Meanwhile, on the dresser on top of your new notebook, there is also a message:]

When the clock strikes 13 o’clock. You must all meet in the stretching room for a special announcement.

[Well, it would be rude to refuse an invitation, right?

As soon as you leave your room, you notice a stark difference between the bedroom and the rest of the building. It looked like it hadn’t been kept up in ages, and it shows with how everything is caked in dust or covered in cobwebs. But judging by the other bedroom doors, possibly with other people peering out at the same time you, at least you’re not alone in this strange situation.

As you explore the rest of the first floor of the mansion, you’ll come to realize that, besides the bedrooms, the whole place is rather decrepit and dimly lit. While all rooms may provide a great interest in you, the the bios of all your foolish mortals might be useful to you, especially if you enjoy finding out how much your new captor has learned about you.]

Comments

B

[whistlenotchirp]

[Jiminy Gets It pal.]

Good lordy! Watch your step there, you never know when you might run into one of those sneaky sons of guns.

[He's pretty sure he has a spider cousin but fuck that scary guy]

[terribibble]

[Jiminy das racist]

You'd think after livin' on a farm I'd be better at avoidin'--

[Wait. There's nobody here. Not that he can see, anyway, though maybe it's the cobweb stuck to his glasses obscuring his vision? He swallows, tries to calm his rapidly-beating heart, and cleans his glasses on his shirt.

Mm. Still nobody that he can see.

Uh.]

Who -- who said that?

[whistlenotchirp]

Sometimes city life's more unexpected: never know what's gonna pop out at ya.

[This is gonna be a whole thing isn't it.]

Uh, down here, fella.

1/2

[terribibble]

Down--?

[He follows where it sounds like the voice is coming from. Why is somebody lying on the floor? Because that's definitely what's going on, and not--]

2/2

[terribibble]

[Is that a fucking cricket in a jacket and a top hat. Like, a bug. A real-life actual bug. Down there. Wearing clothes.

Fiddleford lets out a very ungentlemanly gargle and takes two steps back.]

[whistlenotchirp]

[Geezus dude, its not like he's a talking fox or anything.

He looks around carefully, just in case there's a spider right behind him.]

...Giving me some space I suppose, much obliged. [He'll be. Polite.]

[terribibble]

I, ah -- y-yes. Wouldn't want to. To step on you by accident or nothin'. Anythin'.

[Don't you let your grammar go, Fiddleford, it's the only thing you can control right now.]

You're... you're actually talkin'. I'm not -- this isn't some sort of stress hallucination?

[whistlenotchirp]

[He raises a slow eyebrow. That's a vaguely irritating question. One that has implications he isn't found of. But he shan't be rude! He was a civilized cricket.]

No, you're definitely looking at an educated cricket, thank you very much.

[Maybe a little push.]

[terribibble]

O-oh. Where did you -- um. Do crickets go to college?

[Do they have, like, little bug schools. Backupsmore had an awful lot of bugs in the dorms. Maybe they were actually attending.

He has the distinct feeling that he is two seconds from floating away like a balloon. This is by far the most surreal and distressing thing that's happened to him yet today.]

[whistlenotchirp]

[He isn't sure whether to feel offended or complimented by this point.]

W-Well, I know my suit's pretty darn swell [see him well up in pride.] but I can't say I've ever been close to enough money for something like that.

[1880 Italy dog]

[terribibble]

Oh. No, I suppose -- I suppose that might be difficult.

So where did you learn to talk? Or could you always...?

[He can't believe he's having this conversation but, hey, anything to kind of frame this in a context he can understand, even a little.]

[whistlenotchirp]

[Excuse me]

From my parents if I recall right. [The most patronizing voice.]

[terribibble]

Oh.

[Right. Duh.]

Well what I mean is, where I'm from, crickets don't talk. Just, y'know, in general. Is it just somethin' your family does, or ... ?

[whistlenotchirp]

[You insecist pig. He's getting real riled up.]

Maybe the crickets you know just like to keep to themselves! Never thought of that, eh?

[terribibble]

[Oh come on]

Well -- well, no, I can't say I have. They also don't wear little clothes and all so I thought it might be a special sort of thing. That's all. I don't mean any offense.

[whistlenotchirp]

[He straightens his little jacket.] Didn't realize I wasn't allowed to dress up for the day...

[terribibble]

I didn't say you weren't, just -- I'm not used to seein' it, that's all, so it caught me off guard.

[He can't believe he is trying desperately to stop a cricket from being cross with him. His need to be polite and his inability to deal with the strange are in direct opposition here.]

[whistlenotchirp]

Well, it was a gift, so, thanks for the compliment.

[A beautiful lady from the sky gave it to them and its swanky as all hell.]

[terribibble]

You're welcome?

[Help]

[whistlenotchirp]

Appreciated.

[Suffer forever.]

[terribibble]

[He is pretty much resigning himself to suffering forever, yeah. Yikes.]

Well. [Awkward pause.] I oughta -- I should --

[He takes one awkward step backward. How do you disengage with a cricket?]

[whistlenotchirp]

[Oh so he's sooooooooo uncomfortable to talk to. The nerve of young people. By this point, he just:]

Yeah, yeah, go on. Scoot! And think about what you did!