Introduction

[grimgrinningghosts]

[You wake up in a bed.

A rather comfy bed, but as you open your eyes, you realize that this room is not one you’ve ever been in before. And even the most villainous of you should notice that something is immediately very off by how morbid your room looks. While generally clean, it looked dark and like it was a part of a very old house.

And that “Rest in Peace” throw pillow really isn’t doing the room any favors.

Meanwhile, on the dresser on top of your new notebook, there is also a message:]

When the clock strikes 13 o’clock. You must all meet in the stretching room for a special announcement.

[Well, it would be rude to refuse an invitation, right?

As soon as you leave your room, you notice a stark difference between the bedroom and the rest of the building. It looked like it hadn’t been kept up in ages, and it shows with how everything is caked in dust or covered in cobwebs. But judging by the other bedroom doors, possibly with other people peering out at the same time you, at least you’re not alone in this strange situation.

As you explore the rest of the first floor of the mansion, you’ll come to realize that, besides the bedrooms, the whole place is rather decrepit and dimly lit. While all rooms may provide a great interest in you, the the bios of all your foolish mortals might be useful to you, especially if you enjoy finding out how much your new captor has learned about you.]

Comments

[pardonmylanguage]

...you know who brought us here? [She's side-eyeing the tiny alien anyways.]

[folkscallmewander]

Nope! [The tone is too cheery for this situation.] I think they want it to be a surprise!

[pardonmylanguage]

...I'm pretty sure most surprises don't involve midsleep abductions. [I mean, there are surprise parties where you get blindfolded and led to the party, but those are extenuating circumstances.] Is that a common thing on your planet or something?

[folkscallmewander]

No, not on the planet where I was born. I did see some planets bring the party to the surprise guest's house while they were sleepin', and Sylvia and I were taken up on surprise visits like this more than once!

[pardonmylanguage]

...well, that's not normal for humans. Which most of us are. [A pause] I think. [She's not quite sure about Star and Tarzan.]

[folkscallmewander]

There's always time to learn about how other folks do it!

[pardonmylanguage]

[A sigh as she rubs her forehead] Look...I'm all for respecting others' cultures, but that's supposed to go both ways.

[folkscallmewander]

[Wander is quiet for a second, unmoving but still smiling.]

Then all the better we talk to the host right away! C'mon, we can't be late to the meetin'!

[pardonmylanguage]

[A sigh] I guess that makes sense. [A pause] So what are you anyways?

[folkscallmewander]

I'm an intergalactic space traveler. Name's Wander!

[He reaches out to shake her hand.] It's my first time meetin' a human, pleasure to meet you!

[pardonmylanguage]

[She pauses for a while...before reaching out and shaking his hand.] Well, you're already doing way better on the first contact front than some of the other aliens I've met.

[folkscallmewander]

Really? Were they all that rude? [He's thinking of the other people in the mansion. Everyone has met someone from another planet at some point in their lives.]

[pardonmylanguage]

They invaded our planet and renamed everything after themselves. So yes.

[folkscallmewander]

What, them? [He holds his hands out to the hallway. Them, the captives?] Or--wait. You mean on your home planet?

[pardonmylanguage]

I'm not sure who abducted us this time. But yeah, they invaded Earth.

[folkscallmewander]

[Well this isn't good. He crosses his arms and rocks on his feet.] How do you think your planet is doin'? Do you need any help?

[pardonmylanguage]

...the Gorg left. And the Boov were embarrassed enough that they gave us the planet back. [She pauses] We're still getting things back in order in some places, I guess.

[folkscallmewander]

...That's great! [Double thumbs up.] What about the gettin' back in order bit? What's left to do?

[He really wants to help, tell him where he can help.]

[pardonmylanguage]

[She actually smiles a tiny bit at the thumbs-up. For a moment she can pretend it's for her and J. Lo specifically.]

...well, people might still get nervous at another alien showing up right now. Although I guess you could help the Boov fix up the moon so they can leave us alone faster.

[folkscallmewander]

Fixin' up the moon sounds more like my thing! [He has never repaired a planet before.] Though I might just have to visit Earth when it's done. I've heard good things about that planet so far.

[pardonmylanguage]

You've got any experience with construction? Or just growing stuff in general, I guess? [She blinks at his comment.] Yeah, I guess a lot of people here would know about Earth. [She assumes most of them are from there.]

[folkscallmewander]

Sylvia's good at puttin' things together! Once we helped build a space launcher, and she punched all the bolts in while I worked on the sewin'! It's easy once we know what the plan it!

[He bounces on his feet.] Really? Is it a bigger planet? Do all the folks that look like you come from there? Or have you spread out to other parts of the galaxy? What about the adorable robot? What does he do?

[pardonmylanguage]

[She looks a little shocked at the sudden rapid-fire influx of questions, but does her best to answer.] Earth is...pretty big, yeah. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I think it takes around 80 days to get around it or something. Yeah, I'm pretty sure all the other humans here are from there as well, since from what I remember we'd just started getting people to land on the moon temporarily. [I mean, that might change with the Boov taking it over.] And...I've never seen a robot like that before. Most of the ones we have are controlled in some way, but I don't see any antennae on him...

[folkscallmewander]

80 days?! Hoooly Moooley that's huuuuuuge! [To show just how huge that it, he stretches his arms out into a circle that is sadly too small to visualize the Earth.]

...So--So that's why Mike said he's never been outside of his city! No wonder y'all haven't met each other before even though you never left the planet! That makes total sense!

[HA HA HA HA, what a eureka moment!]

[pardonmylanguage]

...how small are the planets you usually find? [Because from what she heard even the Boov planet was pretty damn big before environmental damage ruined it.]