Introduction

[grimgrinningghosts]

[You wake up in a bed.

A rather comfy bed, but as you open your eyes, you realize that this room is not one you’ve ever been in before. And even the most villainous of you should notice that something is immediately very off by how morbid your room looks. While generally clean, it looked dark and like it was a part of a very old house.

And that “Rest in Peace” throw pillow really isn’t doing the room any favors.

Meanwhile, on the dresser on top of your new notebook, there is also a message:]

When the clock strikes 13 o’clock. You must all meet in the stretching room for a special announcement.

[Well, it would be rude to refuse an invitation, right?

As soon as you leave your room, you notice a stark difference between the bedroom and the rest of the building. It looked like it hadn’t been kept up in ages, and it shows with how everything is caked in dust or covered in cobwebs. But judging by the other bedroom doors, possibly with other people peering out at the same time you, at least you’re not alone in this strange situation.

As you explore the rest of the first floor of the mansion, you’ll come to realize that, besides the bedrooms, the whole place is rather decrepit and dimly lit. While all rooms may provide a great interest in you, the the bios of all your foolish mortals might be useful to you, especially if you enjoy finding out how much your new captor has learned about you.]

Comments

[wannagetsmote]

Kidnapped? [He snorted, the motioned to himself. Not only was he, you know, big, but the demi-god thing. That made it a bit hard for the average joe to kidnap him. Really, he should have been a bit more worried but.

Maui didn't do worry.]

Do I look like the kind of guy that gets kidnapped?

[kindaruledatit]

[Looks at him. Looks at this wall that speaks and moves.]

You look like the kinda guy that could eat the kidnapper.

[wannagetsmote]

That depends entirely on what he is, and what he tastes like. Seafood? Probably not. Chicken? Yes please.

[He's had a mad chicken craving since getting off that damn island.]

[kindaruledatit]

What, like a giant crab would kidnap you?

[That's absurd.]

[wannagetsmote]

His name is Tamatoa, and I wouldn't put it past him.

[Jeez, Wendy, callin him out like that.]

[kindaruledatit]

Tamawhat?

[Hey, she can't help it. It's how she rolls.]

Wait, is that really a thing? Dude, I thought you were joking about seafood kidnapping you.

[wannagetsmote]

He's a real angry guy. Got body image issues. He stole my hook, liked making me powerless like that. Maybe he's trying something else.

[Or maybe, just maybe, not everything is about you, Maui.]

Do you not have giant crab monsters where you're from?

[kindaruledatit]

What? In a freshwater lake? Nah, dude. Gravity Falls isn't nearly weird enough to have crabs in the forest.

[...]

I think.

[wannagetsmote]

Gravity Falls? Never heard of it. And I've heard of a lot of places, too. At least the ones that worship me best. [A shrug.]

Monsters can be good at hiding, if they're the type. You'll never know until [He drew his finger over his throat.] You know.

[kindaruledatit]

Worship you? [phuuf. Yeah, you look like the kind of guy with an ego.]

Oh trust me, I've dealt with a few monsters already. I kinda know what I'm doing.

[wannagetsmote]

Most humans do. Or they used to. Kinda fell off the wagon recently though. [Uh? Rude.]

Yeah? Is this Shmavity Shmalls over a portal to Lalotai or something?

[kindaruledatit]

....Are, either of those in Oregon? Because, if they're not, then we might have a problem.

[wannagetsmote]

Ore-huh? [Is this a new realm? Did someone make a new realm.] What are you talking about, Red?

[kindaruledatit]

Oregon. [She repeats, simply, honestly.] You know, beaver state? Portland? Stuff like that? It's where I'm from.

[...] And supposed to be, I guess.

[wannagetsmote]

I know... absolutely none of that, honestly. [He blinked] What's a beaver?

[kindaruledatit]

Oregon. Like, in the United States? [They're kind of a big deal. Last time she... checked.] you really don't know about it?

And, Beavers. They're like... the size of chickens, with flat tails and fur? Buck teeth?

[why is she explaining the beaver to this wall of a man?]

[wannagetsmote]

I'm not the ocean, and I'm definitely not Te Fiti. They're the ones that would know the names of all their islands, not me. I just talk to the people.

And sometimes the animals, but... definitely not "beavers." I'd remember something like that, because they sound terrifying.

[kindaruledatit]

[She groans, looking exasperated.] ...Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about, at all.

But, Beavers are like, pretty cute, actually. They chew on trees and have soft fur.

[wannagetsmote]

I've only met one thing that chews on trees, and that was a stupid chicken that didn't know any better.

So, uh. Still sounding pretty terrifying, Red.

[kindaruledatit]

Wendy. [C'mon, man.]

Chickens are... different. Anyway, s'not like a giant crab monster is any less scary.

[wannagetsmote]

Right. Red. [C'mon, Red, don't be like that.]

Also, Crab Monster? Not scary. I've bested him twice now, all on my own. [Mmm-hm, sure buddy.] Nothing I can't handle. A beaver though? Never seen one.

[kindaruledatit]

Wendy. [maaaaaannnnn] Alright, sure. I guess you look like you could fight a giant crab monster.

Well, it's not like you look like anything I've ever seen. I really can't imagine seeing you in a forest.

[And she's seen a lot in forests...]