Introduction

[grimgrinningghosts]

[You wake up in a bed.

A rather comfy bed, but as you open your eyes, you realize that this room is not one you’ve ever been in before. And even the most villainous of you should notice that something is immediately very off by how morbid your room looks. While generally clean, it looked dark and like it was a part of a very old house.

And that “Rest in Peace” throw pillow really isn’t doing the room any favors.

Meanwhile, on the dresser on top of your new notebook, there is also a message:]

When the clock strikes 13 o’clock. You must all meet in the stretching room for a special announcement.

[Well, it would be rude to refuse an invitation, right?

As soon as you leave your room, you notice a stark difference between the bedroom and the rest of the building. It looked like it hadn’t been kept up in ages, and it shows with how everything is caked in dust or covered in cobwebs. But judging by the other bedroom doors, possibly with other people peering out at the same time you, at least you’re not alone in this strange situation.

As you explore the rest of the first floor of the mansion, you’ll come to realize that, besides the bedrooms, the whole place is rather decrepit and dimly lit. While all rooms may provide a great interest in you, the the bios of all your foolish mortals might be useful to you, especially if you enjoy finding out how much your new captor has learned about you.]

Comments

[whistlenotchirp]

Jiminy.

I thought you'd know something useful, smart guy.

[wannagetsmote]

You know, you have way too much anger for such a small thing.

I just got here. Woke up here. How am I supposed to know what's going on?

[whistlenotchirp]

[So many wounds to his pride. How it hurts him.]

I'm not angry. I don't appreciate your attitude, mister!

Well if you can't see something useful at your height, I don't know what you're expecting from me!

[wannagetsmote]

Could be something really small. The will of the gods is a weird thing. So are monsters, for that matter.

Point is: you're just as useless as I am.

[whistlenotchirp]

I- you. [There is finger pointing. There is a lot of finger pointing. There is an appendage directing at Maui, pointing, and its his scolding finger.]

I don't appreciate your tone there!

[wannagetsmote]

[He squints down at the cricket? Is he being scolded. It's really hard to tell.]

You realize I could step on you, right?

[whistlenotchirp]

[Complete and utter glare back.]

Now, I don't know where you were raised, although I'd wager its at least near a barn, but polite folks don't step on other folk.

[wannagetsmote]

And where I come from, most people know how to respect the gods. But what do I know, really?

[whistlenotchirp]

[Oh boy, religion with the cricket in 1880s Italy.]

Uh, I think ya mean God, big fella. No plurals necessary.

[wannagetsmote]

You're just finding fault in everything I say now. Real mature, Shrimp. There's no such thing as just "one god." You've got Te Fiti though... she's a bit preoccupied. And then there's Mahuika, the fire goddess.

[He's just now realizing that he's really ticked off a lot of goddesses.]

I could go on, but the most important to note is [He struck a pose, wriggling his fingers as he did.] Yours truly.

[whistlenotchirp]

[This was already super into blasphemy town and now this is just. Full eyes of bafflement and disgust.]

Good gracious. You're a real slimy one, aren't ya?

[Jiminy Cricket: antagonizer of gods.]

[wannagetsmote]

Uh. [Maui ran a finger over his bicep, brows furrowing. Someone took Jiminy's words just a bit too literally.]

No, I don't think so?

[whistlenotchirp]

[He should be used to this, Pinoc's a bit literal too.]

No, no- you can't go around claiming you're God. Its just- no!

[wannagetsmote]

Why wouldn't I claim something that's -- [Incredulously, Maui pointed to himself.]

You do know who I am, right? Maui? Hero to All? The demi-god?

[He's really starting to hate this place.]

[whistlenotchirp]

...I've heard of sanitoriums, I assume you're familiar too?

[wannagetsmote]

Uh. A what?

[Yeah, no. Definitely never heard of those.]

[whistlenotchirp]

Okay, how about this: the loony bin.

[Considerate, caring spirit Jiminy Cricket.]

[wannagetsmote]

Yeah, I got nothing there.

[Casual shrugs!!!!]

You wanna just... spell out what you're trying to say here.

[whistlenotchirp]

[Hand. Drag down. Face.]

You're a few apples short of a tree, pal.

[wannagetsmote]

[That is just close enough to a metaphor he knows.]

You know. You might be right. Because most people? Most people don't bossed around by tiny bugs.

[Maybe he took one too many coconuts to the head. Or maybe Te Ka killed him. Either or.]

[whistlenotchirp]

[UGH]

I'm not just a bug. I'm a certified, one-of-a-kind, conscience, thank you very much.

[wannagetsmote]

A what.

[Jiminy, are you really surprised that Maui hasn't heard of this concept?]

[whistlenotchirp]

[A LITTLE TO BE HONEST.

He fluffs up his jacket in complete and utter "you got some learning to do" mode.]

Your conscience! That little voice inside you that tells ya right from wrong. And I was given the title by the Blue Fairy herself, so you know it ain't no snake oil.

[wannagetsmote]

Blue fairy? [Just gonna... ignore all the rest of that.] And you think I'm a few coconuts short of a tree.

[whistlenotchirp]

Its a common thing! Everybody's got one! Even the likes of you, I reckon.