MOCK TRIAL

[hijackers]

"Alright, mooks, everybody make youse way down to the trial room, pronto!"

[There's certainly no trial room on the map. No trial soundstage, no trial room, where oh where could they be talking about. You might spend a long time looking for it, or only be thinking about it for a single second before it comes over you.

Whenever you close your ears, or even blink, you find yourself there.

The room is a cartoony laboratory, filled to the brims with scientific equipment and beakers beyond wondrous, almost impossible to imagine being utilized in any sort of actual scientific context. A large monitor is mounted on the ceiling, playing a single clip on repeat along with the words "IMAGINEER THINK TANK". There is a large stage underneath that television, which your two hosts take their places at quite readily.

A circle of metal podiums is set up on the ground floor, 26 in total. Each is marked with a name and a photograph of the individual who's supposed to take their place there, as well as a keyboard for inputting...something. The 26th podium is marked with a grayscale photograph of Gwenpool.

Your fellow participants appear in the room one-by-one, seeming to "digitize" out of nowhere. Once everyone has appeared in the room and taken their place, the air around them seems to go deathly still.

Mugsi holds a cigar between her lips, lighting it from a stick of dynamite lit by Kate. With Mugsi taking a deep inhale, Kate speaks, the dynamite somehow fizzling out.]

Each of you has a place you oughta be sitting, and your job is to solve the mystery that's been put before ya. Once you think you know who did it, input their name on the keyboard in front of you. Majority rules, participation is mandatory, and if ya vote wrong you're not gonna see the light of day ever again!

So, get on with it!

Comments

[sorrydoods]

[Soos can't help but agree, as he takes his hat off in respect for the dead woman. Even if he didn't know her very well, she at least deserved that bit of respect.

As for evidence, he lays the bloody towel of his podium, really not wanting to touch it.]

Um, I found a towel in the bathroom. It was...bloody. I think they might've cleaned themselves up, or something.

[losingtoabird]

Then the culprit's gotta be squeaky clean then...

[Hugo eyes the others intensely.]

Suspect anyone who smells good.

[windsintheeast]

I would hope that all of us have been washing up on a regular basis.

[she won’t object to a smell test, but she’s going to judge anyone who Doesn’t smell squeaky clean super hard.]

[losingtoabird]

Hey, speak for yourself, lady.

[He folds his arms huffily.]

[bayoublues]

So...who's got the best sense of smell here? Or, um, just an average sense of smell. Inspecting people might give us some leads.

...Actually, we could also tell by how clean they are visually....

[losingtoabird]

[Take a good look at that snout!]

[stepfordsynthezoid]

My sensory inputs are exceptional, but could awaken currently repressed emotions that are unnecessary to the present investigation. I will leave the task to someone else at this time.

[...okay]

[bayoublues]

Alright, then I'll do it! Rest easy, ma'am.

[yayashton]

According to the detective, it would be better if we licked everyone.

[Did you think he was gonna let that go? He isn't.]

[bayoublues]

Um, yeah, I don't think that's a very good idea. Or, um, sanitary.

[yayashton]

Take it up with him. He's the one who thinks you taste things to check if they're poisoned.

[bayoublues]

....Alright, if y'all don't mind, I'm gonna give y'all a good sniffin' over.

[What a great idea! Trust the gator who lives in a swamp to be the judge of hygiene. He's going to make his way around the room as best he can to inspect the general cleanliness of the crowd, as well as (maybe) their clothes.]

[stepfordsynthezoid]

[Virginia smells like oil, tears, and PTSD.

Otherwise, clean.]

[bayoublues]

[He's going to hesitatingly pat her on the back in an attempt at comforting her.]

You're good, ma'am.

[greekrevival]

[ No strange smells here! ]

[bayoublues]

[At least she's not wearing red. Then she'd be under a whole lot more suspicion.]

You showered yesterday?

[thevondrakehour]

[Von Drake just smells like whatever a duck normally smells like.]

[bayoublues]

[So bird dander and fluff?]

Sufficiently smelly.

[not_over_yet]

[ Mainly tobacco? and Victorian-era smog. ]

[mister_mystery]

[Stan smells like scroogecakes and sweat. Just normal gross old man scent.]

I don't mind at all.

[yayashton]

[Ryan smells about as clean as someone who showered yesterday but was rudely forced to participate in a shitty investigation before he could shower this morning.]

[windsintheeast]

[Mary smells completely and totally clean.]

[worldsaway]

Alright, but it's been a long week, so..

[Thor smells like a guy who hasn't showered in about a week, kind of musky. He also has a tattered, red cape hanging off one shoulder.]

[unclemoneybags]

[Louis would notice Scrooge's faintly sweet but otherwise clean scent.]

Go ahead.

[livinginthesun]

[Quasimodo smells mostly clean? Like at some point in the week he figured out how to freshen up a little.

Still smells vaguely of 15th century France.]