MOCK TRIAL

[hijackers]

"Alright, mooks, everybody make youse way down to the trial room, pronto!"

[There's certainly no trial room on the map. No trial soundstage, no trial room, where oh where could they be talking about. You might spend a long time looking for it, or only be thinking about it for a single second before it comes over you.

Whenever you close your ears, or even blink, you find yourself there.

The room is a cartoony laboratory, filled to the brims with scientific equipment and beakers beyond wondrous, almost impossible to imagine being utilized in any sort of actual scientific context. A large monitor is mounted on the ceiling, playing a single clip on repeat along with the words "IMAGINEER THINK TANK". There is a large stage underneath that television, which your two hosts take their places at quite readily.

A circle of metal podiums is set up on the ground floor, 26 in total. Each is marked with a name and a photograph of the individual who's supposed to take their place there, as well as a keyboard for inputting...something. The 26th podium is marked with a grayscale photograph of Gwenpool.

Your fellow participants appear in the room one-by-one, seeming to "digitize" out of nowhere. Once everyone has appeared in the room and taken their place, the air around them seems to go deathly still.

Mugsi holds a cigar between her lips, lighting it from a stick of dynamite lit by Kate. With Mugsi taking a deep inhale, Kate speaks, the dynamite somehow fizzling out.]

Each of you has a place you oughta be sitting, and your job is to solve the mystery that's been put before ya. Once you think you know who did it, input their name on the keyboard in front of you. Majority rules, participation is mandatory, and if ya vote wrong you're not gonna see the light of day ever again!

So, get on with it!

Comments

Hey Y'all, Thoughts?

[not_over_yet]

[ Basil clears his throat. ] Before we continue, I think everyone should think about the rules we're operating under.

The only way to win is to commit a murder and not be caught.
All of us must vote on who is to be executed for said murder. Anyone who votes incorrectly or abstains is also executed.
If the majority of us correctly name the murderer, the murderer is executed--and, most importantly: the game starts over.

There are no winning conditions.

If anyone has arguments for how this exercise is not simply wasting our time, I'd love to hear them.

[losingtoabird]

How about not wanting to be...you know...

[He imitates firing a gun with his fingers.]

[not_over_yet]

Under what circumstances do any of us avoid [ yeah Basil's just gonna mockingly imitate that right back ] ? All I can come up with is "be one of the murder victims, and hope the murderer is feeling creative".

[losingtoabird]

Well...we just...keep doin' this right?

[It's only now hitting him.]

[not_over_yet]

We haven't an unlimited supply of bodies...

[ Keep at it Hugo, you're almost there! ]

[worldsaway]

You're right, there's no end to it. We play along and we die or we fight back and take our chances.

[not_over_yet]

And we do currently have the advantage of numbers.

[worldsaway]

Although, our numbers are composed of people who have never fought before in their lives.

[not_over_yet]

Yes, that's a concern. As is know precisely what we'd be fighting... [ Looking over their surroundings warily. ] We are hardly in a typical locale, and as for our method of arrival...

[madmadam]

I could kill all of you right now and put a stop to this~!

[not_over_yet]

Perhaps, if you'd be so kind as to start over there... [ vague gesture towards their gracious hosts ]

[madmadam]

Oh, don't fret, they're on my list!

[mister_mystery]

I think ya missed the part where they said you gotta get away with it.

[hijackers]

Still an option.

[madmadam]

Can't get accused of murder if you leave no witnesses, now can ya?

[taps forehead.]

[yayashton]

Well, you could always focus on the greater mystery instead of the lesser one: who's running the game?

[not_over_yet]

Mm. Does anyone else recognize that chap up there? [ He motions to the repeating clip ] Bit odd, that little display.

[windsintheeast]

...Now that you mention it, did anyone take care to listen to the voice that spoke as we were investigating the scene of the crime? It was undoubtedly masculine, and I don't believe it matched the voices of anyone else here, let alone of our hosts.

[yayashton]

I somehow doubt "Bill Nye, The Science Guy" kidnapped us all but it's not impossible.

[stepfordsynthezoid]

William Sanford Nye, popularly referred to as Bill Nye The Science Guy is an educator, scientist, and host of the Bill Nye the Science Guy television program from 1993 to 1998.

[hijackers]

You're not enjoyin this, frootloops?

[not_over_yet]

I'm afraid if you're relying on our being willing to all die for fun... Well, there was a reason I asked about our incentive.

...You do realize I was asking after our incentive and not yours, correct?

[hijackers]

...Would you consider this a thrilling attraction, then.

[She seems to be ignoring the question entirely.]

[not_over_yet]

[ That's a very odd response.

..... ]

No.

Pointless, rather dull once the initial shouting quieted down again.

[dothelokimotion]

Are you proposing no one plays? Because I believe Thor said that. At the start.