WE LIKE TO PARTY

[grimgrinningghosts]

[There once were some worlds that worked so hard, there was just no time to play. But that will all changed when a weird bus pulls up one day.

Your character is going to be in the middle of whatever, at their home, on a mission, dying, whatever...when they’re approached by the giant Moron Mountain Party Bus. Approached is a strong word when it seems determined to reach your character at all costs, crashing through walls or blending in, whatever necessary.

Once the bus approaches and your character has taken notice of it, the doors open. You have three options here.

1. You can board the bus willingly, upon which the bus will close it’s doors drive/fly/dive towards it’s next pickup.
2. Be hypnotically entranced beyond your free will and dance on to the bus, thanks to the actually-hypnotic tones of ”We Like To Party” which the bus will play should you choose not to willingly board.
3. Have your character get pulled onto the bus by a giant cartoon hand that emerges from the top of it, grabbing and tossing your character on.

Once they’re on, you’ll realize the interior of the party bus is fairly luxurious. There’s a pole, a couple of drinks stashed next to one of the couches, and a disco ball. A few TV monitors hang around too, broadcasting some basketball game (but there’s a remote right there). There’s clearly someone wanting to keep you comfortable, but...who?

It’ll be of less comfort when you realize the bus doesn’t have a driver or a steering wheel, and as soon as you stepped on, all of your powers and weapons were rendered useless. It’s ominous, but hey, there’s drinks.



(ooc: Welcome to Foolish Mortals’ Non-Disney Round! You won’t arrive at Moron Mountain until the host intro log, so your bios and the locations haven’t come into play yet. If you or your character would want anything aboard the massive party bus within reason, feel free to assume it’s there, as it’s obviously pretty luxurious. The bus pick-ups happen in the following order, ICly:

1. Morty Smith
2. Boss Baby
3. Otis
4. Wabuu
5. Ginger
6. Fizzy
7. Willy Wonka
8. Coraline Jones
9. Gandhi
10. Cleo
11. The Little Girl
12. Audrey
13. Penny Poledina
14. Beth Tezuka
15. Beetle
16. Kubo
17. Spongebob Squarepants
18. Aquaman
19. Bender
20. Samurai Jack
21. Dinobot
22. Zhu Li Moon
23. Sarah Lynn
24. Bojack Horseman
25. Centipeedle
26. Dan Backslide ]

Comments

[essentiallyinvisible]

[She blinks.] Um...did you see if he was alright? And these "Oompa Loompas"...I'm guessing they work at your factory?

[candymancan]

Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine, old men are very resiliant to car crashes.

Yes- they're the otherworldly beings I've gathered up to help me make candy.

[essentiallyinvisible]

[She's not 100% sure old people do actually work like that. Then again, maybe it's just their hearts that are fragile.]

Oh. Um, maybe that means they'll be fine too? What kind of otherworldly abilities do they have?

[candymancan]

Candymaking.

[essentiallyinvisible]

[She supposes that makes sense.] So...they don't have special resistance to being hit with buses?

[candymancan]

Don't know. Never tried running them over with one.

[essentiallyinvisible]

Um...yeah. I'd hope so, as their employer and everything. Do they at least have health insurance? Or on-site medical facilities?

[candymancan]

... Well, they certainly have full access to all the candy in the factory.

[Health benefits would get in the way of having them test all the candy combinations and get sawed to pieces by ceiling fans poorly located in the fizzy lifting drinks room.]

[essentiallyinvisible]

[Well, if they're magical candymaking creatures, maybe they appreciate just having that, she thinks. She doesn't know about the deadly ceiling fans, after all. Still...] So, well, do you have any plans on how to treat the ones who did get hit by a bus? Although I guess that's not something you can really plan for...

["Bus drives through wall and abducts me" is really not what most factory owners would consider as a potential disaster, probably]

[candymancan]

I suppose I'll have to figure that out when I get back to the factory and assess the damages.

[It will probably involve Oompa Loompas with casts made of Laffy Taffy.]

Which is yet another reason I need to leave as soon as possible.

[essentiallyinvisible]

[Would taffy even make good casts? Still, she nods.] Do you have anyone who might be able to look after it while you're gone? Or someone who might come looking for you? [Look, if everyone's loved ones teamed up they could probably destroy this bus.]

[candymancan]

[They would definitely not, but when has Wonka ever done anything that is not predominantly motivated by candy?]

There's... a few higher up Oompa Loompas who could help with damage control, but I don't have-

[an heir]

-anyone, really, who can run the factory without me.

[essentiallyinvisible]

[The only reason his entire factory isn't made of candy is because he knows it would melt, isn't it]

...oh. That might be pretty bad. Would they have to...just shut it down, if you don't get back in time?

[candymancan]

[and also because it would attract hansels and gretels like flies]

They had better not. That's my life's work. My everything, and I will not lose it because of some- party bus!

[essentiallyinvisible]

[Wow, he's really passionate about this. That's pretty admirable.] Well...there were other people who saw the bus crash into your factory, right? Maybe one of them will tell the police or something and they'll come after it.

[candymancan]

Mmm. There was a massive crowd outside the factory prior to the tour, so I'm sure there are many witnesses-

oh, God. And I'm sure they're all pouring into the factory now, discovering my candy's secrets, stealing pieces for themselves... It's a disaster, even if I return immediately, everything I've worked for is ruined!

[Wonka puts his head in his hands, frustratedly clawing at fistfulls of hair.]

[essentiallyinvisible]

[...oh, right, that might have happened.] Well...they might have run away when the bus came? And I'm sure your workers have ways of keeping out intruders, right? [Should she pat him on the back? It feels like she should pat him on the back.]

[candymancan]

The longer I leave my factory unattended, the more likely it is that my entire life's work will be stolen and desecrated.

[He's hit the depression stage of grief very quickly.]

[essentiallyinvisible]

[Awkward back-patting is go, she supposes.] Maybe not everyone will be like that? I'm sure there are people who will try to respect your work!

[candymancan]

Oh, please, they're all motivated by greed, even the children! I thought-

[Suddenly, he straightens, taking a deep breath. After a moment, he looks as though nothing even happened.]

I'll figure it out. I'll get home and fix whatever they might have destroyed, even if it takes me the rest of my life. I have brand loyalty, at least.

[essentiallyinvisible]

[Well, she's not sure that was the best way to handle this, and she's kind of worried about his attitude towards other people, but at least she can stop the awkward back-patting now.]

That's good. And if you have patents for your creations, you could sue them, right?