foolishmortals | Gaiden Mock Round

[ You wake up in what might be the single worst place to wake up if you didn’t go to sleep there: sprawled across a row of airport terminal chairs. Oh, there’s probably a major pain in your back that might last a while. Do you even remember going to sleep in the first place?

The standard airport loudspeaker buzz is being piped in, but this is clearly not a real airport: the glass that would usually have airplanes behind it is no glass at all - it’s a massive (and kind of cheap-looking) matte painting. If you pay attention to the announcements too, they seem to be more like a bad stand-up impression of airport announcements than real ones. “The white zones are for schmoozing only” - really?

There are also, notably, no other living travelers in this airport. It’s just you guys, confusion, and a lot of painted cutout images of laughing people. If you do a lot of Earthly plane traveling, you might recognize what this place is supposed to look like - Los Angeles International Airport.And if you don’t, LAX is certainly what they’ve decided to stamp on everything - especially the plastic replica baggage in the comically fake replica baggage claim.

You might know where you’re supposed to think you are, but you have no idea how you got here.

Eventually, though, someone else speaks through the loudspeaker! And appears on all the TV screens. And the joke arrival/departure screen.

Oh no. ]

Superstars! It’s me, your agent! Kiss kiss, hello hello! Sharpay, love the outfit. Sadness, lookin’ down and out as ever. You’re all looking so, uh, “on point,” as the kids say. Welcome to Los Angeles, City of Angels and Home of the Stars! Like you! Now we got a schedule to keep, so move your sorry butts out to Bel-Air to the mansion, alright? We gotta get you ready for your date with Hollywood, and she is NOT a dame you wanna keep waiting! Though of course, as we say out here, “fashionably late” is encouraged, so on second thought you know what? Go ahead and take ya time. See the sights! Grab a coffee! Listen, I got Brad Pitt on the other line here, so ciao, babes, love you all, see you at the mansion! Mwah!

[ … well. At least you know the creepy robot face of maybe your kidnapper? Maybe chat with one of the other people here about it? There’s also certainly a front door, the building is hardly locked up.

If you do decide to take your leave of the airport, which is understandable, you’ll end up on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, or at least a similarly creepy and cheap replica of it. If you look at the stars, you might recognize the names. There are plenty of places to check out, but there are no exits - the edges of the area are surrounded by false storefronts. Looks like you might be in “Los Angeles” for the long haul. ]

[ Let’s talk about your locations, though, very briefly. The only place for 24-hour food is Starslurps Cafe, they have coffee and pastries and The Worst Name, and whatever you want you can just kind of take because the barista is a cardboard cutout that just kind of says “FOR YOU, IT’S ON THE HOUSE” every time you trip a motion sensor. Fur Sure is where you can get more clothes beyond the ones on your backs, but they’re all very fancy and there are So Many fur coats. The Psychic Fax Center features an ornate seance room complete with crystal ball and tarot cards, but also there’s a very 90s fax machine collecting dust in the corner. Tattoo on You is a tattoo parlor, in case you want a souvenir? It would probably help if there was anyone to run the machines.

Superstar Studios is closed and locked up tight. Gotta wait for your cue, it looks like.

Beethoven Bowling is a pretty standard bowling alley, with automatic lanes and all the cardboardy pizza and lukewarm hot dogs you can eat. The Cobra Cabana opens at 6pm, and is a fully-stocked bar with a jungle theme. The only food they serve is chips and salsa for some reason. Laughter Shocks is a comedy club, but the only comedy playing is a 24-hour loop of bad Tim Allen stand-up. Then, finally, there’s the mansion you’re all staying at, with bedrooms enough for everyone and all kinds of over-decorated rooms. It comes with a swimming pool and its own full-size Aztec Temple in the backyard. Don’t worry about it, babe, it’s just Bel-Air living. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[How can a giant seven foot tall skeleton be missing largely for one whole day, you ask?

Well, that's because said skeleton has been entranced in his own little world, simply in awe with the little slice of L.A everyone's found themselves in. He doesn't interact with the humans much beyond when they come to Halloweentown for Halloween or during that one stint as Santa Clause for Christmas, so getting to see a little town with weird shops and cardboard people around was simply interesting and he managed to get lost in his own little world.

But lost he is no more! He comes out of the Starslurps with a rather large fur coat and a pumpkin flavoured drink in his hand, pleased now that he's finally visited every location he could manage and he eagerly taps the nearest person/animal/puppet on the shoulder.]

You simply must come with me and try one of these drinks! I'm not quite sure what it is -- but it tastes like a pumpkin pie and it's delicious!

[Later on, in the evening when it's a bit darker out Jack hides out behind the side of the Psychic Fax Center and waits for someone to walk by before--]

BOO!

[He jumps out at them with a terrifying looking expression. Just downright jumpscares everyone who walks by.]

[ He's going to have to bend down quite a bit, but sure! Lopmon turns and seems not very surprised by his presence. ]

A drink? Wherever did you find it? [ ...maybe the drink shop, lopmon, maybe that- ]

[He sure does have to bend fairly low.. alright, he's crouching actually but this little bun person seems nice and they get a warm smile on the skeleton's face.]

Why, this shop behind me, here! It's selling all kinds of funny looking drinks and cookies -- and none of them have bugs in them!

[ A headtilt. ]

I didn't think bugs were something that were normally in foods to begin with.

[Sharpay screams. But you know, like. A terrifyingly practiced and precise horror movie scream, not a real scream.]

No, actually I don't like that. Can we run that again?

[Jack freezes at Sharpay's reaction, how she seemed to just be acting and wants to try it again. But even though her realistic sounding scream was faked he doesn't seem to mind and he gives her an enthusiastic nod.]

Alright! Tell me when you're ready!

[And he hides behind the shop again...]

[Cassandra knew already that she was taking a risk staying out this late on her own, but she's already one to take those, and nobody actually seems like they'll follow Bill's betting list.

It's been a few days, nothing's happened. Everything seems fine. Perfect time for a skeleton to pop right out on her.

Sufficed to say, Cassandra's reflexes have not dulled. And the moment Jack jumps out at her, she's pulling back a fist and letting it go right at the horrific face pointed at her.]

[Unfortunately for Jack, he wasn't expecting a fist to hit him in the face and it hits square in his jaw, sending his head... right off his neck??]

Wow, you've got quite a swing!

[But fortunately for Jack something like that can't actually kill him, (you'd have to try harder than that), and he stumbles his body around a little bit as he tries to find his head and pick it back up.]

[What!!!

Unfortunate for Cassandra, she wasn't expecting his entire head to come flying off. So she just, kind of... stands there, completely shocked.]

...You're a real skeleton. I... [Should. Should she keep fighting??] Wow. I did not expect that to happen. At all.