foolishmortals | Introduction

[You wake up in a bed.

A rather comfy bed, but as you open your eyes, you realize that this room is not one you’ve ever been in before. And even the most villainous of you should notice that something is immediately very off by how morbid your room looks. While generally clean, it looked dark and like it was a part of a very old house.

And that “Rest in Peace” throw pillow really isn’t doing the room any favors.

Meanwhile, on the dresser on top of your new notebook, there is also a message:]

When the clock strikes 13 o’clock. You must all meet in the stretching room for a special announcement.

[Well, it would be rude to refuse an invitation, right?

As soon as you leave your room, you notice a stark difference between the bedroom and the rest of the building. It looked like it hadn’t been kept up in ages, and it shows with how everything is caked in dust or covered in cobwebs. But judging by the other bedroom doors, possibly with other people peering out at the same time you, at least you’re not alone in this strange situation.

As you explore the rest of the first floor of the mansion, you’ll come to realize that, besides the bedrooms, the whole place is rather decrepit and dimly lit. While all rooms may provide a great interest in you, the the bios of all your foolish mortals might be useful to you, especially if you enjoy finding out how much your new captor has learned about you.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Goodness. I'm assuming we're from different universes, but if not, it would seem things are going to start going to shit in my world quite soon.

[He clears his throat.]

Pardon my language. But anyway, I think the probability of your universe being the same as mine is quite low.

Here's hoping, Pops! Not that I don't like my home, but wouldn't wish it on anyone now!

But more relevant, how the heck do you think someone pulled off getting us all here? Drugs aside.

['Pops'. It makes him sound so...old.

(You are old, Ford.)]

My guess? Some sort of interdimensional warp equipment. Quite sophisticated, seeing as how it managed to snag all of us without any of us noticing.

Yeah, see, the catching us off guard thing is what I'm worried about. Reeeally don't wanna wake up tomorrow and suddenly be in an even weirder set up, you know? Heck, we don't even know how long it's been since we were ganked.

It certainly doesn't seem like the most temporally reliable of places.

[Ford frowns, and takes a moment to consider the state of his stomach.]

I'm not too terribly hungry, which makes me think it hasn't been all that long.

--huh, guess I'm not feeling too grubby either, if I think about it. Dang, smart way to measure, dude, wouldn't have thought of that!

[Ford gives Mike a grin that's both smug and grim.]

You pick up a few tricks when you have twelve doctorate degrees.

I have like, zero of those, so I'll take your word for it. Got a buddy of mine that's kind of a brainiac, but I don't think even he could figure out what's going on here! Good to know there's some smarties here though.

I'm certain that with my intelligence, not to mention the combined skills I'm sure the rest of us have, we'll be able to handle whatever this...this place throws our way.

Nice! Not much good for much myself than a scuffle, but I'm down for a group effort.

This place may be old, but it can't be that sturdy against all of us!

A scuffle is not a bad thing to be good for! Have you ever tried boxing?

A little bit! Got some training under my belt, but nothing too formal. [He's a trained cadet, the little liar, but he's not much for boasting. He shrugs!]

Mostly I get into street fights, but I'm hoping there's no reason for that here.

Well, any little bit helps. It's always good to be prepared, just in case.

[Just in case you, you know, get sucked into a portal for thirty years.]

[That's super specific my dude]

Yeah, I hear you. So, any of those smarts know how to get out of a house with no doors?

Well, normally I'd say 'fist through the window.' But none of the windows here seem to want to break.

[Of course he tried already.]

Fist? Not even a chair or a shoulder? We've got rowdy dude here!

Buuut yeah, I was wondering on that.No chimneys or vents either. Nothing big enough leading to the sewers that I can find to boot.

[Ford holds up one hand, which is frankly huge before you even consider the extra finger, and then curls it into a fist with a grim look.]

Simply using my God-given gifts, son.

[He nods, looking thoughtful.]

Good. Good observations. Once we can rule out the obvious, it becomes easier to start thinking creatively.

Haha holy crap, that's cool. Handy, even. [badumching.]

I'm a fan of fireworks myself, but don't see anything around to give us that oomph.

Handy. Come on, now, surely you can do better than that.

[Ford chuckles, nonetheless.]

Think a little bigger. Dynamite. Hell, you could even start a simple fire and burn out one of the walls if you did it the right way.

Sorry man, it's amateur hour for me. [his ratio of puns to friendship speeches is sadly skewed.]

Oooh, I'm listening. Just hypothetically, how do you manage that without anyone getting caught up in the bad end of it?

You'll learn.

It's simple, really. All you have to do is find a source of ignition that can be carefully controlled, and keep the fire from spreading. Normally you'd want to use dirt or something like that to keep it away from unwanted areas, but I suppose we could do the same with metal kitchen implements or something similar that won't burn.

[Mike nods along at the idea, seemingly following, though something else entirely is painting a picture in his head.]

I getcha.

So basically what we need is a flamethrower, or a laser or something.

I—

[holy shit]

I was thinking lighter fluid, but that's an idea.

[#helping!!]

Lighter fluid's a good starting point, yeah! We're just gonna have to get creative.

[Ford grins, and holds out one hand to shake.]

I like you, son. What's your name?

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aboyandhiscar - 2017-06-16 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

sixfingeredstan - 2017-06-16 20:22 (UTC) - Expand