OUR TOUR BEGINS HERE.

[yourghosthost]

[Eventually, no matter your reading comprehension or your sense of time, you all find your way to the stretching room. Once everyone has gathered, the ominous sounds of a clock ring throughout the chamber. The clock strikes 13 times, and the candles in the room light themselves up on their own.

Something...or someone is in the room with you. They make themselves known quickly, with a deep voice that echoes throughout the room.]

When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls; Whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still - that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight!

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your... ghost host. Kindly step all the way in please and make room for everyone. There's no turning back now.

[The doors close behind everyone as he speaks, leaving the group stuck in the room until he finishes talking.]

Normally, we spirits don't open our manor up to temporary guests. But desperate times have forced me to extend visitations beyond our usual tours, and residency has been extended to your select group. You shall remain here permanently, unless...

Well.

[...his tone goes slightly darker for a second, with a hint of reluctance. The candlelight dims for just a moment.]

If you end the life of one of your fellow guests without being discovered, you shall be allowed to leave.

[It takes a moment, but the lights return to their normal brightness, and his tone becomes chipper once more.]

Of course, you're more than welcome to stay in the manor as long as you like! Our spirits haven't spent time with the living for a while, so they'll be excited for the change of pace.

Comments

[aboyandhiscar]

. . .fair enough! No pun intended.

[He points up at the body.]

So were you done in, punished, ooor did you go somewhere really dark?

[yourghosthost]

Perhaps one. Perhaps the other. Perhaps all three. The residents of the manor prefer having a multiple-choice backstory, one left open to viewer interpretation.

[aboyandhiscar]

Yeah? But what's your preference?

Uuunless you're just paid to be spooky and vague, then I hope you're getting top dollar by the hour.

[yourghosthost]

Some of us enjoy theatricality.

[aboyandhiscar]

Heh, sorry man, I'm pretty uncultured. Maybe phrase it more like an action flick?

[yourghosthost]

[deadpan:]

"...Yippee-ki-yay. Some of us cattle-rustlers out in the ol' western prarie of Big Thunder Mountain enjoy not havin our golly-gosh-darn backstories gettin' told."

[aboyandhiscar]

[holy shit

one moment as he is BRIEFLY APPEASED]

.......................okay so far as crazy kidnapping baddies I want to punch go, that's pretty cool and super spot on, and I hope you get to rest in peace.

[yourghosthost]

I'm glad to have appeased you.

[aboyandhiscar]

You're a good sport.

But seriously, this is bull, dude. What DO you get outta this?

[yourghosthost]

I'm not entirely liable to discuss the purposes of your being brought here at this time. It's not entirely up to me, you must understand.

[aboyandhiscar]

S'always a big wig pulling the strings somewhere.

"At this time" though. . .guess you're expecting some of us manage to stick it out to get some reasoning then?

[yourghosthost]

Perhaps we'll be able to discuss this at a later date. Until then, unfortunately, I must keep my reasons to myself.

[aboyandhiscar]

Yeah, I get it dude. You've been ghoulishly gracious, and all that.

Welp, hope you get to live it up a little if this is really worth it for you. Relatively, anyway.

[pardonmylanguage]

Don't fall for it! [She might try and grab him by the collar.] Charisma is how they get you.

[aboyandhiscar]

Woah WOAH, easier there--[He blinks down at her]--I'm not getting suckered in, promise. The whole dead thing is kind of a deal breaker.

[pardonmylanguage]

[She nods seriously.] You remember that last part then. No matter what else he tries to promise.

[aboyandhiscar]

No matter what. Don't worry, I'm an anti-murder kinda dude. You used to this kinda thing?

[pardonmylanguage]

I was there for the Boov invasion. They didn't take me, but they did abduct my mom. [She clenches her hand into a fist.] They dropped her off eventually, but it still took almost too long for us to get back together.

[aboyandhiscar]

Woah, yikes, back up, invasion? You mean like, army invasion or are we talking ET here?

[pardonmylanguage]

...both. The Boov were aliens, and they had an army. And they were way more dangerous than any aliens you see in movies. [Well, maybe not, but "being actually real" kind of counts as "more dangerous," right?]

[aboyandhiscar]

[tbf even goofy aliens become legit scary when applied to real life. Mike shakes his head]

Yikes. Well hey, no aliens here--aside from the folks who are??--but it's not like they're invading anything. And our biggest enemy so far is already. . .dead, apparently, so you can rest easy. No one's getting roped into anything.

[pardonmylanguage]

...well, a lot of the people were a problem during the Boov invasion as well. It seems a lot of people were just waiting for an alien invasion as an excuse to go wild. [Some of it wasn't that bad. Some of it...she's glad she had a fairly sturdy car to go around in.]

[aboyandhiscar]

Yeeah, people do kinda lean toward rioting, huh? [He can't even grasp the idea of a real alien invasion, but an excuse for people to panic and do whatever? Yeah, been there.] But so far, looks like we're all pretty dang rational folks. . .and aliens and lions and uh, that bug guy and robot. I think if someone were gonna go nuts it would've happened already.

[pardonmylanguage]

[Okay, she supposes that even if the lion and the wild man can be reasonable about this, they should be pretty safe.] Yeah, that makes sense. And I guess some of them might be useful in trying to find a way out.

[folkscallmewander]

Pretty good, but you could do bit more work on that accent!

[He's helping!]