OUR TOUR BEGINS HERE.

[yourghosthost]

[Eventually, no matter your reading comprehension or your sense of time, you all find your way to the stretching room. Once everyone has gathered, the ominous sounds of a clock ring throughout the chamber. The clock strikes 13 times, and the candles in the room light themselves up on their own.

Something...or someone is in the room with you. They make themselves known quickly, with a deep voice that echoes throughout the room.]

When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls; Whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still - that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight!

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your... ghost host. Kindly step all the way in please and make room for everyone. There's no turning back now.

[The doors close behind everyone as he speaks, leaving the group stuck in the room until he finishes talking.]

Normally, we spirits don't open our manor up to temporary guests. But desperate times have forced me to extend visitations beyond our usual tours, and residency has been extended to your select group. You shall remain here permanently, unless...

Well.

[...his tone goes slightly darker for a second, with a hint of reluctance. The candlelight dims for just a moment.]

If you end the life of one of your fellow guests without being discovered, you shall be allowed to leave.

[It takes a moment, but the lights return to their normal brightness, and his tone becomes chipper once more.]

Of course, you're more than welcome to stay in the manor as long as you like! Our spirits haven't spent time with the living for a while, so they'll be excited for the change of pace.

Comments

[chainbroke]

[ She's no idiot--she knows just what he's getting at, though that's... pretty obvious. There's a lot here, Naminé doesn't know where to start. ]

Then... we'll have to be here forever, unless one of us kills another?

[yourghosthost]

Very astute observation, my child. That's exactly what I was saying.

[folkscallmewander]

[Wander is ecstatic during the speech, mostly because he can finally meet the host. The lights dim appropriately, the doors close at the right time, this guy knows what he's doing. He bounces in his seat, waiting for him to show up and finish what he has to say--

...Um.

That's.

He has to be joking.]

Are you really a ghost? [Let's focus on something else for now.]

[yourghosthost]

Of course I am. I have no reason to use false pretense.

[wannagetsmote]

Wait... wait-wait-wait.

You want us to kill each other? [He has a lot of questions about this but... he'll start with the simplest one.]

Why?

[yourghosthost]

I have no interest in seeing you all kill eachother. My employer, however, has their own reasons. I can't disclose what they are at this time.

[sixfingeredstan]

[Ford looks very, very harried by all of this. Perhaps not disturbed; mostly just annoyed. Like it's an inconvenience. Which it is. He was busy collecting data when you herded them all in here like sheep!]

This is ridiculous. You can't hold us captive. That would defy all sorts of interdimensional criminal codes.

[Knowledge is power, and Ford has an overabundance of knowledge, ergo he is very powerful. Obviously.]

[yourghosthost]

I believe I can hold you captive, actually! I'm sure a man of your intellect has noticed the lack of viable exits.

[nobodyperfect]

[Lea may like fighting, but that doesn't mean he gets any pleasure out of killing people. Not yet, anyway. It seems like other people are asking for clarification on the whole murder point, but he's got another.]

What happens if you get caught?!

[Not that he's intending to kill people, but hey. At least it's a memorable question.]

[yourghosthost]

[...how to explain this.]

There will be appropriate repercussions in such an event.

[kindaruledatit]

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[...] Whoa.

You can't just do that! That's, like, illegal!

[yourghosthost]

I'm afraid that the laws of the living don't exactly apply here.

[defyingfrigidity]

[It... takes Elsa a minute to process this. Just what's going on, the odd behavior of the candles and the door closing so fast and hard she'd nearly jumped out of her shoes, the voice... she almost missed what exactly the voice was saying. And when the words sink in.... well. If she could get any paler than she already is, she would right about now.]

Th... That's ridiculous! You can't expect someone to kill another person just to save themselves...!

[yourghosthost]

You'd be surprised. Mortals are a predictable...selfish lot.

[heartofold]

[This is... worse than anything she imagined. How could this be the real reason? She can't accept that. And so she puts on a strong face, with her hands on her hips as she huffs.]

You're the ones who kidnapped us, why should we trust a word you say? If anyone deserves a good smack-- it's you.

[SOPHIE nO...]

[yourghosthost]

You'd probably have trouble smacking me. It'd be terribly impolite, anyway.

[ilovepuppies]

[Star is attempting to stick her arm through the ghost host's chest.]

[yourghosthost]

...Please stop. That is terribly annoying.

[arpeggiositar]

Come on, you can't do that! That's not fair!

[You mean death is something that can happen here? Demyx would rather to take his chances with his superiors than stay another minute in this manor after these revelations!]

Why'd you even do something like this?!

[yourghosthost]

I have my own reasons - ones that I'm not planning on disclosing at this time.

[whistlenotchirp]

N-now wait just a darn minute! You can't- Expecting us to- the sheer idea-

[He stumbles over the words.]

That's immoral! And wrong!

[yourghosthost]

Perhaps it is. Perhaps it isn't. Either way, I'm not going to force anybody to do anything.

[trashcubes]

[... Well then, hope you don't mind if WALL-E just... pulls himself into box shape here. Don't mind us, we're just an unassuming box, no need to say such scary things towards, maybe if we pretend hard enough this will all go away...]

[folkscallmewander]

[Wander is not going to blame the poor little guy for being afraid. It is a scary situation to be in. He pats the area on top of the box where his head was affectionately.]

There, there...

[thetimebomb]

[Sylvia is stunned for a few moments, before shaking her head, looking disappointed.]

You must really be a low grade villain to think that locking us in an old building is either a good enough reason to get us to kill each other or a good way to stop us from just escaping.

[Of course if they wanted to stop him, the ghost thing might be difficult... eh, lesse if Wander can appeal to his soft side while she thinks of good ways to fight ghosts.]

[yourghosthost]

Try as you might, my dear, you'll find that escape is futile! We've already made sure of that.

[terribibble]

[Today has already not been kind to Fiddleford McGucket. He's missing his ray. He's in some kind of inter-dimensional paradox space. An alien punched him and by now he's got a vivid black eye. He honestly still isn't entirely convinced he hasn't finally lost his mind entirely and fallen into some kind of horrendously vivid stress hallucination.

The booming, deep voice doesn't settle his nerves any, nor does what it says. He thought he wanted an explanation and now he's starting to feel like maybe he didn't, actually, after all.

He lets everyone else voice their concerns while he works up the nerve to do more then just kind of lean against a wall and hyperventilate. By the time he's maybe got enough courage up to make noise, their host points out the dead body hanging from the ceiling and whatever he was about to say comes out as a terrified gurgle instead.]

You -- you -- is this whole house full of folks who got murdered?

[It tracks really well, is all. People get brought here to die. More ghosts join the ranks. More stones in the graveyard.]

[amadeusrockette]

Are you okay, sir? [He doesn't look so good, and Julia is wondering if slapping him would help any. Maybe it'd help him gain clarity?] Do you need to sit?

[aboyandhiscar]

[YOU KNOW, usually Mike would have a hard dang time believing this is an actual ghost, and this is a murder house. He is a tech boy, not really into believing supernatural nonsense and what not, and he super doesn't get what the point would be of making folks go battle royale style when they all seemingly have no connection to each other.

But he's also too damn used to crazy people throwing something dangerous at him and going 'okay go'. SO, he stands there, tapping a foot, frowning.]


Okay, Casper, let's just give you a benefit of the doubt and assume all this is legit, and you're no crazy good hologram. If no one kills each other, we all just stay captive here until we like, die on our own, I guess. And then if someone kills another person, they might get out if they're crazy enough or sneaky enough to do it without one of us noticing. And there are a looot of us. All in one little building! In close quarters.

That's not really a fair set up on either side, you know? I mean, I'm assuming we're all defaulting to the "don't kill anyone" side, but still.

[yourghosthost]

I don't recall any of us ever referring to this as a fair set up.

[sentadaughter]

[The presence of a ghost is, surprisingly, not too difficult for Mulan to believe. She literally prays to her ancestors for guidance and has a spirit dragon helping her, so this is pretty much par for the course. But what he has to say is...yeah.

After recovering from the initial shock, Mulan gives their host a look that expresses just how unhappy she is with the situation.]

It's unreasonable for you to ask that of civilians.

[To be fair, it's unreasonable to ask that of anyone. But Mulan's first instinct is to protect the people who can't protect themselves. She'll be fine, if anyone tries to kill her she will be able to hold them off. But the others, it's unfair for them.]

[yourghosthost]

I'd hardly call anyone here a civilian.

[capulion]

[Overall, Kiara isn't terribly impressed with the whole 'spooky' display. She has an eyebrow raised and looks around skeptically.]

How do you possibly exist? Only the spirits of great Kings and their kin live on as spirits after death.

[She's calling shenanigans.]

[yourghosthost]

Perhaps I was a great King in life, then! That would be rather strange.

on the one hand I could not possibly be later, on the other hand I'm in at less than 200 comments

[toogoodforhim]

Ki-Kill someone!?

N-no way, nobody's going to do that, right?

[Oh, Jeez...]

This has got to be some kind of mistake!

[yourghosthost]

I would hardly consider the eloquent monologue I just made you sit through a mistake.

[pardonmylanguage]

[While Tip is mostly acting annoyed at the other captives, she does have a question of sorts for the host.] So...ghosts are real, huh? Care to tell us which traditions were right about what you can do?

[yourghosthost]

Excellent question! None of them.

/rolls in on the late train

[lessonsinlove]

[ Okay it's one thing to keep people here but... the explanation behind WHY they were being here was almost too much. It was beyond sickening. Just like the body hanging up from the ceiling that she's trying not to pay attention to because the idea of it is nearly making her sick just thinking about it. ]

J-Just who do you think you are? Kidnapping a bunch of us and then just insisting we up and do... well... that just because you tell us we have to?

[yourghosthost]

I'm the Ghost Host! At least, that's who I think I am. I'm fairly certain, actually.