This is fine. It's fine. We're fine.

[sharpasanarrow]

[Well that was.

Something.

Underneath everyone’s door they’ll find a slip of paper, in shaky calligraphy, that reads:

INVITATION

Meet in the Dining Room.

Do not bring alcohol of any sort.

Upon arrival into the Dining Room it’s clear that this is very much...not a party.

The center of the room is cleared of all tables, and instead has all the chairs arranged in a circle, facing inwards. On the tables pushed to the side are jugs of water, cups, plates of saltines, and several hastily-made pamplets that read on the front ”How to cope with Child homicide” that contains an advisory list:

1. Try not to think about it.
2. Do not get hysterical.
3. Crying is permitted, but keep it within a reasonable volume. (For the consideration of fellow mourners)
4. Maintain civility
5. Do not plunder the belongings of the deceased.
6. No drinking or gambling your sorrows away. Set an example.

Standing in front of one of the chairs already is Mr.Arrow. He clears his throat as people start to slowly come in.]

I gathered you all here because I believed it would be conductive to group morale if we all worked through our feelings regarding recent events. Talk about your feelings with one another, but not with me.

[He steps back a little, out of the circle of chairs, in what seems to be an invitation for people to sit down and discuss with one another.]

Comments

[downtonabbeast]

[He's down and has had just enough to drink that he ain't. Calm your tits, Staniel.]

Imagine the person you want to see most and tell the mirror. "Show me" and then their name. It worked for when I needed to see Belle so I hope the magic hasn't worn away.

[stanbyme]

[HIS TITS WILL NOT BE CALMED.]

FORD

[stanbyme]

Show me Stanford Pines.

[sixfingeredstan]

[Ford has been on the edge of his seat, watching this trial play out; it's been an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish, and for a minute there he thought he was going to have to rescue his entire goddamn family from Hell, not just Dipper and Fiddleford.

This whole thing is a Goddamn mess.

But when he sees Stan call for him—relief floods every inch of his body and he stands up for no reason other than he's got a whole lot of pent-up nervous energy right now.]

Stanley? Stanley! Can you hear me?

[stanbyme]

Ford?

[Oh thank fuck]

Wha- Where are you at? Are you okay?

[sixfingeredstan]

I'm fine, I'm fine. Are you okay?

[He's not fine. Ford Pines is Not Fine. But he's better now than he has been in a long damn time.]

It's...hard to explain, exactly. I'm in the ruins of the place where my...ordeal took place, to put it simply. A mansion full of spirits. All of us here made it through the same thing you're going through now.

[stanbyme]

[Uh-oh, relief is gone.]

Of course I'm not 'okay,' Stanford, do you have any idea what I've been through today!?

[Time to cover the kids' ears]

How in the [wow where'd that foghorn come from] did I not know that you were dragged into one of these [cat scream]-hole rituals?!

[sixfingeredstan]

[Welp. Here they go.]

Oh, I'm sorry, Stanley, I've been a little busy trying to figure out a way to rescue your sorry behind!

[They lasted thirty whole seconds.]

[stanbyme]

I've been worried about you, you [huh who let a dolphin loose in here]! I thought you were alone on the boat!

[sixfingeredstan]

Now, listen here, don't get mad at me for your own short-sightedness, you old [wow huh seagulls too!]! I had no way of letting you know where I was or that I was in mortal danger, or I'd have told you already!

DIPPER

[stanbyme]

[This one he's much less sure he wants to see. But he... He has to know, before he lets Mabel see.]

Show me... Dipper Pines.

[sneezelikeakitten]

[Oh boy, Stan, you're not gonna like this. Because here's Dipper, wearing someone else's hat, and not really paying attention to what's going on around him.

The place he's in doesn't look like Gravity Falls or California...]

[stanbyme]

[You're right. He doesn't like this at all.]

Dipper? Dipper!

[Oh, god.]

[sneezelikeakitten]

[Dipper jumps badly with a yell, spinning around and finally looking at-]

G-Grunkle Stan!

[UHM. OKAY. THIS. THIS IS OKAY.]

[stanbyme]

[Sorry Beast he's reaching out and taking the mirror in both hands, like he can get closer to him that way.]

No... [The familiar weight of failure hits him like a truck, no less sharp and painful for how often he's felt it.] Dipper, you--

[drowned]

Where are you?

[sneezelikeakitten]

[Something about this pings Dipper and he swallows hard. Does Stan know?]

Uhm... you might not believe this, but it's called the Underworld. I'm kind of-[awkward hand waving motion]-dead. But I'm fine! Really! There's a lot of great people down here! [And Preston Northwest]

[stanbyme]

[Damn it. DAMNIT!

Stan hisses something under his breath that's definitely not censored.]

Yeah, I.... I think I'm getting familiar with how you got there. Are you okay? Now, I mean, not...

Don't worry, we're gonna come get you. Just hold on.

[sneezelikeakitten]

[Stan. Language! There's Disney's all over the place!

That makes Dipper shake his head.]

No! Don't! The only way to get here is to die, and I don't want you dead. [Well, there's probably other ways, but don't tell him that. Dipper still doesn't want any of his family in the Underworld.]

HEY BROTHER-IN-LAW

[stanbyme]

Hey, I got one more.

[after others have actually had a turn.]

Show me Fiddleford McGucket.

[terribibble]

[Oh boy. Oh boy he is suddenly acutely aware he looks like shit. He's unshaven, though at least his beard is contained to a couple of inches of unruly fuzz around his jaw instead of down to his knees. The bags under his eyes have bags and those bags have bags, like a russian nesting doll of bags. Still, he steels himself and straightens his red bowtie to try and pretend like he's anything close to Together. Here he is, Stan: McGucket like you've never seen him. Vintage!]

Hey there. It's... I figured we'd meet under better circumstances than this, but it's a pleasure all the same.

[stanbyme]

Uh...

[Wow, Ford's taste is shit]

Hey, so... Brother-in-laws, huh? Kinda weird I guess considering you...probably didn't know I existed.

[Haha ha ha... it's fine. You're clearly visibly from the Dark Period where Ford Had No Brother, etc.]

So I'm Stanley.

[terribibble]

[HIS BEAUTY IS ON THE INSIDE, OKAY... WHERE IT'S DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING]

Oh, no, I -- I knew. I read the book.

[Which sounds incredibly weird, he realizes after it comes out of his mouth. It's still the truth. He never met Ford's family but he knew them secondhand through his journal, and while it gave him a better idea of Dipper and Mabel there was certainly mention made of Stanley.]

And I'd have figured it out the moment I saw you anyway. You have... you have the same face.

[And it's been hard watching it on the screen, believe him.]

[stanbyme]

[He's a little bit humbled by that. Much though he's always known that he and Ford were near-identical, someone else saying it is. A lot.]

Yeah, well, that's what you get with twins...

So- Um. Ford gave me a message to pass on to you.

[terribibble]

[He nods, a little abortively. He's been watching, and he saw, but it's not the same. He's got the same kind of vulnerable hope in his eyes that Ford did earlier. He wants to hear it directly, or as directly as they can get playing this game of telephone between the living and the dead.]

What'd he say?

[stanbyme]

[Fuckin shit christ he was half-hoping that the answer would be "I've been watching, I heard him" but no guess his luck can't be that good.

And there's those big ol' eyes. Motherfucker-

He pinches the bridge of his nose, but somehow manages to look up and make eye contact again.]

He said that he loves ya, and that he's not giving up until he gets all of us safe and outta this mess.

[End him.]