ENDGAME GROUP 2: The most tragic place on earth (Log 1)

[keyofimagination]

[Thanks to Hades’ help, group 2 suddenly arrives in Main Street, or… what was Main Street. Now it’s a desolate wasteland barely masquerading as a cheerful theme park. You are outside the ticket gate right now, but from the gray sky and a sign proudly displaying: “Dismaland: Bemusement Park”, it wouldn’t take much to remember that the villains have a hold on the pocket dimension now.

Rod, meanwhile, is holding a bag, looking as determined as ever.]

First of all, I'm going to come forward in saying that we have to be careful about this mission, and we have to make sure we aren’t seen. If Hades is right, the moment either Bill or Randy know we’re here, it’s all over for us. As such I took the liberty of going through the hotel’s coat check to find some disguises.

[He drops a bag on the floor and out spill tacky Hawaiian t-shirts, sunglasses, and really tacky straw hats. Rod is already quickly putting on a t shirt and pair of sunglasses.]

If you have any questions I’d suggest you ask them now. If there is any chance of us separating I don’t want anyone ending up lost in the dark while we explore.

(ooc: This is the first group 2 log!)

Comments

[terribibble]

You wanna burn 'em?

[sixfingeredstan]

[Ford glances up at his husband, his face going from incredible amounts of discomfort to just plain lovestruck awe in the span of the time it takes that question to meet his ears. Completely disregarding all else, he moves to pull Fiddleford in for a searing kiss, and doesn't pull away until he's breathless.]

More than anything.

just pretend this is happening after the stuff with lekmet ok it's fine

[terribibble]

[He can't believe that just a scant couple of months ago he was telling Stanford Pines off for setting things on fire and now here he is. Life comes at you fast, doesn't it?

If he were a different man he'd probably make a joke about arson and how it gets Ford hot and all but he's not. He maybe thinks it though.]

Good. You start gettin' 'em all in a pile then.

[He casts around for something flammable and spies a bin of plush Bills. That'll do.]

Got a lighter?

[He's just gonna. Get his fingers into the seams and tear it open. Get at those sweet flammable plush meats.]

[sixfingeredstan]

[He doesn't hesitate for a moment; Ford immediately begins grabbing merch left and right: horrifying sex toys, t-shirts, body pillows—

He glances up, seeing Fiddleford ripping that Bill plush open with his bare hands, and suddenly his mouth is very dry as he fishes for the lighter hidden somewhere in all those pockets and tosses it over.]

Reminder that, ah. Silicone requires a steady heat of five hundred degrees Fahrenheit to burn.

[terribibble]

Well then we better get cookin', huh?

[It's fine. They don't have to stay once it all starts go to up. Frankly he wouldn't mind taking the whole thing down.

He sets up the fuzz by the pile, and then after some consideration adds the fluff of two more plushies as well as some crumpled Bill Cipher doujinshi to the starter. Gotta make sure this baby goes up.]

Kind of amazin' she's just lettin' us do this, huh?

[He gestures over at the girl in flannel behind the counter. Plank? Yeah. That's probably what her nametag says.

Time to light this sucker up!]

[sixfingeredstan]

Right you are.

[He sweeps an arm across a nearby shelf, sending a whole row of Bill plushes into that pile, and then glances up at the girl behind the counter.]

Yes—ah, young lady, you may want to evacuate the premises.

[grimgrinningghosts]

I MIGHT WANT TO TELL ROD SERLING THAT I LOVE HIM???

[She’s Fine.]

[terribibble]

You can do better, hon.

[sixfingeredstan]

Really. And apparently he's not so keen on the 'S-name'.

[grimgrinningghosts]

I! LOVE! HIM! MY SON! HE’S A HOMOSEXUAL!

[terribibble]

You can love him outside the burnin' buildin'. We mean it, this place is gonna go up like a firework once all this catches properly.

[Do any of these toys have batteries in them? Like. Seriously. This place is not long for this world.]

[sixfingeredstan]

[snorts loudly.]

Join the club. At any rate, we're going to burn this place down, and I'd like to avoid taking an innocent life.

[grimgrinningghosts]

HI, BUDS! I’M JO AND I’M DUMB!

[...this odd worker runs and faceplants directly on to the kindling. Perhaps some people don’t need to be saved.]

[sixfingeredstan]

Ah—

[Oh.....

Okay. Well. That's...a thing that happened.

Ford turns to Fiddleford, alarmed.]

Should we try and save them?

[lusito]

... Given that they have to work for this ex of yours here, this might be a blessing for them in hindsight.

[Josh, no.]

[sixfingeredstan]

That's...one way of looking at it.

I LEAVE FOR 20 MINUTES AND YOU KILL JO

[terribibble]

Did just sort of... Jump right on it.

[mmmmm. Still don't feel too bad about lighting this fire, frankly. ]

[sixfingeredstan]

It might be...a mercy, if you look at it that way.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

[terribibble]

Right... Right. That's what I figure... .

[plus it'd be hard to put it out at this point. This is happening. Just let it go, let it go, etc]

[sixfingeredstan]

[We must never speak of this]

[terribibble]

[theres no cops in dismaland we take this to our graves ]

[terribibble]

[ okay but seriously]

We should... We should absolutely get outta here. Y'know, before that fire hits somethin' that'll explode.

[also he maybe doesn't wanna watch Jo burn up ]

[sixfingeredstan]

[Rip Jo. They died as they lived. Weird and gay.

He nods.]

Right. Out we go.

[He sorely wants to carry Fiddleford out bridal-style for whimsy purposes but he refrains in favor of absconding hand-in-hand.]

[terribibble]

[ before they hit the door fiddleford turns and cups his free hand around his mouth]

HEY! Anyone still in here, you're goin' to want to clear out NOW!

[ you know. Just being sure]

[sixfingeredstan]

Good call.

[And once they're safely out of range, he's got to just. Stop Fiddleford with his hands on both shoulders and leans down to murmur in his ear:]

After this, once we're alone? I need to show you just how much I appreciated that.