First Investigation

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Everyone wakes up this morning and finds that nothing is immediately off, however you have the strangest feeling of-

Actually you know what?

A baby died this week already.

This sinful game doesn't deserve playful coyness this week.

Investigate?]

Comments

[candymancan]

Your life outside of work is chasing mice around? How sad.

[He just lets other people do that for him, in the middle of their fake evil schemes to take over his factory.]

Anyway, this is your job. You get paid for this. Exchange these coins so I can at least have something new to entertain me while sitting through another funeral.

[bringmecontracts]

[He pauses and leans over to Swackhammer.]

Want me to pummel him?

[imthetrashman]

I’ll vore em!

[bringmecontracts]

[... Yeah he can work with that.]

See I can't go to the casino now because he'll vore ya. We don't want that now, would we?

[candymancan]

[Wonka grimaces.]

How about you just give me whatever I would have won instead of us bothering to gamble for it? Since I'm sure your casino isn't exactly operating on random chance. That way, you can get back to your Very Important Mouse Chasing.

See? Compromise.

[bringmecontracts]

You kiddin'? It's no fun if I just give you it! 'Sides, all the rewards are back at the casino anyway.

[candymancan]

Oh, fine then. I suppose I can just go to the casino myself. While you're not there. And take whatever I see fit to taking.

[bringmecontracts]

Do that, and you're dead meat.

[candymancan]

uwu?

[bringmecontracts]

[...

Flings a single card at him.]

[candymancan]

[The card slaps him in the face and sticks there. He doesn't bother peeling it off and speaks as if nothing happened, though Wonka is noticeably more deadpan.]

Thank you, I will treasure the gift forever.

When will you be done with this farce, then?

[bringmecontracts]

How 'bout when you're dead?

[He's just spiting Wonka now.]

[candymancan]

Considering the fact that someone was murdered a short few hours ago, that won't be a long wait.

But fine. I'll be sure to stop by later, of course... Three AM sound good to you? What about two?

[imthetrashman]

YA GOTTA LISTEN TO WHAT THE WONKERER SAYS - THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!