foolishmortals | THE MOCK WEEK

[You find yourself waking in a large dressing room, incredibly spacious, but in intense disarray. The bed is comfortable enough, and each room seems to be equipped with a working bathroom and shower, so it's at least livable. But aesthetically, the place has hit the floor.

The horrifying clock mounted on the wall reads 9 am. After enough searching, you'll find a large tourist-y map of the studio on one of the dressers. An ominous note attached to the map with a paperclip reads "12PM WAITING AREA". It's not like you have any choice in the matter, seeing as there doesn't seem to be any way out.

Upon exiting the dressing room, you note a crooked star attached to the door bearing your name. There are 24 others like this, bearing names that you may or may not recognize. A quick tour around the studio reveals it to be in a similar state of disrepair, but something doesn't sit...right with you. Though the place is certainly creepy, you get strange vibes as you explore the building. As you move about the dust-filled halls of the abandoned building, you may spot movement out of the corner of your eye, or hear strange noises from behind you. It's nothing to be worried about, though...right?

At the very least, you'll find some comfort. The projection room and attached theater still seem to be in working order, though you'll have to manually grab one of the reels off the wall and start the thing yourself. In addition, the waiting area and lounge are both filled with reading materials, and the later features a large stage and a microphone. The commissary seems to replenish itself with food whenever you take your eyes off of it, ensuring that we won't be going hungry anytime soon. There are also cabinets full of ingredients and a small kitchen should you not trust whatever your benefactor is placing out for you.

Fortunately for them, the smaller individuals amongst your party won't find a great deal of difficulty moving around. Though their beds remain oversized, there seem to be appropriately-sized staircases and escalators placed about in appropriate spots, so as to make their lives easier. After all, they can't just keep relying on the others to get up to the cabinets and such, can they?

While you're waiting to find out what the deal here is, you might as well come out and socialize.]

(ooc: Welcome to the Foolish Mortals Mock Week! Please follow us on Plurk at

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Maui wished the last thing he remembered was some dashing act of heroism or another. Instead, the stupid mortal toddler had plunged them into danger, and it'd been up to him to save them from Te Kā.]

[His hand shifted, searching for his iconic hook.]

Oh come on! [He was getting a little tired of losing it.]

[Everything about his surroundings was odd, but he was a bit too concerned with the growling in his stomach and the bitterness in his head. The map was gathered up as an afterthought, note regarded but largely ignored.]

[The first order of business was the... magic box with a number of foods in it -- in a space that the more modern of folks might call a kitchen.. He plucked out a very raw chicken leg (ripped from an equally raw whole chicken), almost salivating at the thought of it. Non-seafoody meats? Awright!]

[Of course, he wasn't a complete animal, and so he found himself searching about for a fire pit of some sort. It was in this state that he rather accidentally stumbled onto the waiting area.]

Uh. This some kind of party in my honor?

[who is this brute with a raw chicken leg???]

Oh, good hea- I implore you to put on some sort of shirt, sir!

[The hulking form of said brute shifted, Maui having decided to lean over the man. It was probably kind of menacing, but really he was just observing. And maybe looking a touch offended?]

What, and smother the little guy? [A large hand motioned to his left? Nipple? Oh, no, there's a tattoo there. A tattoo pantomiming suffocating? Weird.]

It could be! [Troy is allllll for parties instead of this awkward waiting. Please let this be a party for this buff, shirtless man.] But I don't think that's why we're here.

Can't imagine what else would be worth waiting for. [He is a demigod, after all. You don't get much better than that.]

Well, the paper said to meet here at noon. [He holds it out, because he brought it with him so he didn't forget.] So I figured someone was going to come and explain all our roles to us.

Roles? [He feels like he missed something. Like maybe the weird note left for him? Or all of the names in the hallway? Just maybe.]

You know what? [He snaps his fingers.] I bet this is a surprise party. Okay, okay. I'll leave the room, and come back at noon pretending to be surprised.

It didn't say anything about a surprise party. [This is all very confusing.] Also I don't know who you are, so it would be very weird if I was invited to your surprise party.

You don't -- [He recoils, expression looking as if he smelled something particularly gross.] You don't know who I am? I'm Maui! The demigod? Holds up the sky while you were -- Do I need to sing the song again?

Song? [He immediately perks up.] Are we gonna sing a song?

We? There's no we. I'm tired of 'We.' [He reeled back a bit further.] I can sing a song. You can listen.

I can't even sing harmonies? [:( :(((((((] I'll make you sound really good!

... Okay, seriously tempting, but that's what I got the little guy for. [He motions to a... is his tattoo waving?]

Whoa, your tattoo moves! [This is some Harry Potter shit. He gets momentarily distracted by it before sitting back.] Oh. Go on.

[He interrupted your big solo. Tell him all about how awesome you are, Maui!!!]

[Mini-Maui waggles his brows, before pantomiming clearing his throat.]

[And, well. You know what happens. Except it looks much less cool because special effects are hard when you don't have any powers. Or tropical scenery.]

[Perry is going to try his hardest to ignore this guy because seriously, but at that question, he gives, Maui A Look. You know the kind, the kind that screams "don't you have anything better to do with your time? I'm busy".

It's a lot to get out, but hey, with a silent little guy on his chest, Maui should at least be somewhat acquainted with the look.]

[That is absolutely a look he understands. Unfortunately, it's also a look he ignores, much to Mini Maui's facepalming chagrin.]

You're, uh. Kinda weird lookin'. Some kind of monster? [He's absolutely reaching for that tail. Sorry, Perry.]

[No no heck no. He's gonna ignore the tattoo thing completely and slap Maui's hand away from him. Why do you have to be so rude?]

[Maui's hand recoiled sharply, while the tattoo on his chest mimicked a belly laugh. The demigod was quick to prod at the ink-man with a scowl.]

What are you, anyway? Did Tamatoa send you? Has he still not gotten the message?

No, Maui, it's not. Also, please tell me you're going to cook that before you eat it.

[Oh, he'd know that voice anywhere. He scoffs loudly.]

What, you weren't content in trying to get me cooked, now you have to cook my food, too? [Wait --] I mean.

You almost got us killed. Now you're out here giving orders? [His words are supplemented by very wild gestures with said chicken leg.]

If it is, my large amigo, someone has done you very dirty. And me, and to a lesser extent the other people here too.

[ The Duke probably looks very very small next to Maui, look at this toothpick man. ]

I mean have you seen the state of this place?

Wouldn't be the first time someone "did me dirty." [Whatever that means, Maui's 99% certain it has happened to him.]

[Really, the waiting area isn't... that bad? At least there aren't any monsters with complexes snapping at him.]

I've been to worse places.

If it is, it's not like any party I've ever been to. [and mermaids throw ragers, man.]

[. . .] Wait, why would it be in your honor?

[Cue the very exaggerated eye-rolling. He's getting real tired of people not knowing who he is.]

Maui. Demigod. Basically responsible for your world being the way it is.

THE MOCK WEEK

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