foolishmortals | It's all happened before...

[You wake up in a plush bed, well rested but very confused. As you become more conscious, one thing becomes abundantly clear: this is not your room, nor does this look like any bedroom you’ve ever been in before. It’s relatively clean room, but immediately something feels… off about all of this.

When you start exploring, a thing you’ll soon notice is that on the bedside table, there is a room key sitting ontop of a neatly typed note.]

Dear hotel guests,

We cordially invite you to come to the downstairs library at noon for an important meeting regarding your stay in the Hollywood Tower Hotel. Before then, we invite you to make full use of the amenities this hotel has provided for you.

On behalf of the hotel staff, we dearly hope you enjoy your stay in this marvelous hotel.

-HTH Management

[But, as you leave the comfort of your new bedroom, any hope that you somehow booked a hotel room the previous night and just forgot is immediately dashed. It looks like this hotel hasn’t been cleaned in decades, and despite the mention of hotel staff in your note, there doesn’t appear to be anyone working here.

Not to say that you’re alone, however. As you explore the hotel, you’ll soon find that there are 23 others in the exact same situation as you: confused and with no memory of how they got here. And to make matters worse, if the bios you stumble upon in the dining area is anything to go by, this clearly isn't just a freak accident.

Get comfy, because you are all in for a wild ride.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... Well, you don't sound like a manager. In fact, based on you calling the person in charge of a whole hotel the help, you're probably just some rich guy. Am I right?

[He scoffs.] "Just some rich guy?" You're talking to Preston Northwest. My reputation should precede me.

Well, it doesn't. Sorry to burst your bubble.

[....hm.]

Perhaps you're more of an... east coast resident.

[Or ideally from the boonies]

I'm from Oregon.

[so]

[what the fuck]

...Don't read a lot of magazines then.

I'm 13. I read plenty of magazines.

You're just not as famous as you think you are. Pop. [BURSTING ALL THESE BUBBLES]

[This is the worst thing that's ever happened.]

Well these are. Sophisticated magazines. On Forbes lists.

If you're not in Teen Beat or the Fortean Times, are you really that important?

[He pinches the bridge of his nose. Of course. No reason to get concerned. Just a frivolous teen girl.

Smiles~]

In the adult world, perhaps. I can... understand why that might not be your expertise.

You have no idea what my expertise is.

Yes, yes, the "hastagging" and the "social memeing" and all that, I'm sure its very detailed.

I'm a witch.

[this genetic trump card is literally her favorite weapon now this is so fun]

...I'll say.

[Ba dum tish]

So, maybe you should take that into consideration before writing me off as just some stupid teenager.

Hmm. Listen girl.

[Well that's uncomfortably close.]

As much as I'd love to "chew the meat" or whatever it is you people do, I have a business to run. I can't imagine you have much expertise with that.

Yeah, I'm sure you're doing really important business while kidnapped and trapped in a hotel.

...You're misinterpreting me on purpose.

How? You can't run your business from in here! Talking to the little people is pretty much all you can do here, unless you plan on watching The Static Channel all day.

[Bridge. Nose. Sighing.]

What I meant, child, is that I don't have the time to stay here. So unless you've found the nearest exit, I don't see what advantage I gain from rubbing elbows with you.