we're not coming home 'til he's dead

[athleticallyinclined]

[ And he's dead.

The Beast is dead, and Gaston is celebrating. Immediately after the trial he goes to the dining room to decorate, using ideas from Louis' Mardi Gras party, various weddings he's attended, and his own hunting lodge as inspiration. There are candles on the centers of the tables, colorful banners and streamers draped around the room, and of course, antlers on the walls. The tables have tablecloths and real plates and cutlery. The only food available is meat, eggs, and beer, of course, but there's no shortage of any of it, and the meat at least smells amazing.

It's all surprisingly tasteful? At least until you look up to the banner above the buffet table. ]

HAPPY BEAST DEATH DAY

[ And in smaller letters underneath: ]

THANK YOU PRINCE KIT FOR YOUR SACRIFICE

[ Everyone gets personalized, handwritten invitations shortly after the trial.

𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒞𝑜𝓇𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝐼𝓃𝓋𝒾𝓉𝑒𝒹

𝒯𝑜 𝒶 𝑅𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐿𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒫𝓇𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒦𝒾𝓉

𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝒶 𝒞𝑒𝓁𝑒𝒷𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝐹𝓇𝑒𝑒𝒹𝑜𝓂 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝐵𝑒𝒶𝓈𝓉'𝓈 𝒪𝓅𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑔𝒾𝓂𝑒

𝒟𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑅𝑜𝑜𝓂

𝟩 𝒫𝑀

Comments

[athleticallyinclined]

I'm not a coward!

[ Now he's getting mad. He steps closer. ]

I'm a war hero! I saved my country!

Can you say the same?

[scrapplinghook]

[HEY GASTON SHE AIN'T DONE WITH YOU YET because she was cheering stan on from the sides at first, but now she's stepping in.]

Grunkle Stan saved the whole world!! All the worlds!! The whole universe! He's more of a hero than you'll ever be!

[athleticallyinclined]

[ Gaston looks pityingly down at Mabel. ]

Is that what he told you?

[stanbyme]

Hey! Your fight’s with me, jerkwad!

[athleticallyinclined]

[ He gives Stan a his best wide-eyed, innocent look. ]

I'm just trying to help your family see the truth! You should be ashamed, telling such lies to a mere child.

[stanbyme]

[Stan had been trying to be somewhat clever, goad him into attacking first and showing his hand.

But, well. No one accuses his family of lying.

He lets out a roar of anger and charges. Can you hold back a fist coming at you like a force of nature?]

[athleticallyinclined]

[ HE CANNOT but hey at least he sees it coming this time?? So he manages to mostly dodge it, getting away with a clip on the shoulder before roaring and throwing a punch at Stan in return. ]

[stanbyme]

[The punch clips Stan’s ear and pisses him off more. This isn’t going to be a formal boxing match. He’s gonna make a grapple check (18) and grab for Gaston’s collar, pulling the other hand back for a hard punch.]

[hasit]

[She should probably try to break them up but honestly? Stan is in his element right now and watching Gaston get the shit beaten out of him is very appealing right now.]

[athleticallyinclined]

[ Oh, so they're playing dirty, are they? He struggles, but with Stan gripping his collar, can't dodge the punch.

In the meantime he jerks his knee up, aiming for Stan's crotch, but misses and whacks his thigh instead. ]

[stanbyme]

[Hey, little Staniel doesn’t deserve that!

Stan yells and goes for a leg sweep to drop Gaston to the floor, aiming another punch straight at his nose with full intent to break.]

[athleticallyinclined]

[ He stumbles, but doesn't fall, and Stan's punch hits his mouth instead of his nose. The lip bursts and Gaston spits out a tooth, glaring at Stan. ]

You'll regret this!

[ He aims a punch for Stan's face, attempting to break his glasses. Instead, the glasses fly off and across the room. ]

[stanbyme]

[Joke’s on you, Gaston, with his cataracts he doesn’t need his glasses anyway!

He trusts Mabel to grab them for him.

But now he’s free to go in for a headbutt, so, win win.]

[athleticallyinclined]

[ The headbutt dazes him briefly, and Gaston blinks, then shakes it off. His face twists in rage and he leans forward to bite Stan's giant ear.

Unfortunately, the skin on his ear is as tough as the rest of him. The bite barely breaks skin, and Gaston jerks back almost immediately, spitting in distaste. ]

Ugh! You taste as bad as you smell, old man!

[scrapplinghook]

He didn't have to tell me! I saw him do it with my own eyes!! And he didn't need any guns or big dumb muscles or anything like that!

[... well okay he needed that mind ray thing but DETAILS]

[athleticallyinclined]

[ Well now he knows it's not true. He rolls his eyes. ]

How could he have saved anything without guns?

[scrapplinghook]

[willsmithpose at stan]

He's got fists !! Fists that exploded an evil triangle demon with one punch!

[she didn't see it, but she'll totally trust his word on what happened in his mind after Bill tried taking him over.]

[stanbyme]

[...sweetie his mind wasn’t-

Okay]

[scrapplinghook]

[IT'S COOL SHE'S GOT THIS SHE'LL MAKE HIM REGRET PICKING A FIGHT WITH YOU]

[athleticallyinclined]

[ POINTS TRIUMPHANTLY AT MABEL ]

You said he didn't need muscles!

[scrapplinghook]

[POINTS RIGHT BACK AT HIM. What is this, some dumb dramatic lawyer game??]

He doesn't!! He did it in his head, where he can be super strong even without any muscles at all!!

[athleticallyinclined]

[ What. ]

...So he was imagining it.

[ Yeah that sounds about right. ]

[scrapplinghook]

Nuh-uh, it was all real! Just in a different place, like.... like someone fighting in another room than this one! Just cause you didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen.

[She's not sure if that makes sense but how else can she explain this to someone so dull???]

[athleticallyinclined]

Mmm-hmm.

[ Children, how do they work. ]

Why don't you go...play with your dolls, or something, while your uncle tells me all about how he beat up monsters in his mind?

[scrapplinghook]

[Why??? Is he so frustrating??? Mabel can't take it anymore: she stomps over to him, rears her foot back, and KICKS him as hard as she can in the shin.]

Why don't you stop being a huge jerk and go be alone somrwhere and stop being mean to everyone else who's upset???