Mock Gaiden Investigation

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well it's Friday now, the deadline for the Agent's motive. And, well, it's much better than "you get snacks if you kill someone" and we've had someone literally murder for that in another game so being coy about it seems moot.

Still, none of you guys know about that, so maybe you think no one will take the bait?

Well there doesn't seem to be anything off in the Mansion! At least yall don't have to wake up to a bloody mess next to you today! Count your blessings.]

Comments

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[Eclipsa's arrived and-

...oh god.]

...Darling, you're shifting from charmingly evil to annoyingly evil real fast.

[dannydorito]

[Welcome to the Gravity Falls experience, Eclipsa.]

I'll be any kind of evil I want! Who kills the DOG, honestly?! ...That's the kind of thing I would do!

[Bill.]

[kindofadrag]

[interrupts with a literal fountain of tears. The dog died!!]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[Dammit Bill.]

I'm sure he's okay! He just... went to a little farm! Away from here!

[kindofadrag]

Huh? But Mom and Dad told us that's where the cat went...

[REALIZATION]

Ohhhhh, noooo, Snowball!!

[just. bawling.]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

Annnnnnd he's with her up there! And they're best friends!

[mostwantedfrog]

Aaaaand they are deceased.

[kindofadrag]

[BAWWWWW]

[dannydorito]

I want to be annoyed, but that's honestly kind of impressive. Really putting the Ghiblis to shame.

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Hey, while you're all freaking out, wanna check the Psychic Fax building proper?]

[orwellgirl]

[is the crying muffled in there bc that's her goal rn let's go]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[The crying is in fact muffled in here! There's also a pretty noticeable mess, and most notably two more person-shaped parts of that mess.]

[orwellgirl]

[ahhh. both equally great things.]

Ooh! [let's go poke a dead body!]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[ The first one is... well, some damage has been done to the guy, but it's clear on a proper inspection.

The Ghost Host is dead. ]

[orwellgirl]

[immediately starts arranging his limbs into a funny pose]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[Walks in, hoping to get some air.

Stares at.]

Darling.

[orwellgirl]

[waves at her with his arm]

You can have the other one; I call dibs.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[Sigh.]

You're lucky you're cute.

[But she'll look at the other one for now.]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well, he's easy to recognize, at least! He might not have his voice, but he does have his appearance, and that's been accentuated with severe injury, so there's no doubt from just trying to look for the color (or lack thereof) in his face.

The Narrator is dead.]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[She elbows him.]

[mostwantedfrog]

What? You want her to live a life of believing lies? Better she knows now, then she is not heartbroken and disillusioned later.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

Absolutely. Lies are wonderful. I use them all the time.

[mostwantedfrog]

Oh, so do I. But lies with purpose to shield self. Lying to spare feelings of others... No. What is point. The truth will toughen them. Ready them for bitter Russian winter by confronting with bitter truth.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

This is why your dateability is 0, frogurt.

[orwellgirl]

Ugh, stop making her make that annoying noise!