Week 1

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well that was a busy day, huh? But despite all that, a good majority of you are reasonable people, and are smart enough to find an escape without resorting to deadly violence. Maybe if you put your heads together, you'll find a way to get out of here! After all, the host is practically in shambles already, what can he do?

The whole first floor of the manor is open for your leasure now, with the only change being that there's now a set of rules in the foyer hanging on the wall.

Let the games begin.]

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

Comments

i'm so fucking sorry

[holdthetrumpet]

[A little rude, yeah, but pretty fair. He's well-aware most people do their own cooking. It's just that most people live quite a ways away, outside of his general scope of experience.

Okay. In the pan, not in your hand. So he should just... pick up the egg, and put it in the pan? He hesitates with his hand and the new egg hovering over it.]

But then won't the shell get everywhere?

you're not sorry at all

[bestchefinparis]

[Oh my god. Rémy bolts forward]

Aaaaah! No, not so high, you'll splatter everything!

[Geez, this is like teaching Émile how to eat properly. Rémy motions down]

Closer to the pan. The shell thing, uh, it's...a bit difficult to explain, it's easier to do. Uh, hit the egg with the edge of the pan? Until it has a dent.

[He never thought about the exact motions, he just used to do it. Actually saying how it's done feels a bit weird to him]

you caught me i am utterly lacking remorse for any of this

[holdthetrumpet]

[HE'S... TRYING... this is just very much not like fencing. Or riding horses. Or dancing.]

Uhuh. Oookay.

[He just... taps the egg against the side of the pan. The first time is too gentle, but the second gets a good crack in it.]

That's how it should be, haha!

[bestchefinparis]

[At least you'll end this murdergame knowing how to crack an egg. Congratulations, prince.

Rémy cowers a bit, expecting Kit to pretty much obliterate the egg, but it looks like that didn't happen! Maybe this guy isn't completely hopeless!]

Yes, that's it! Now open the egg. It should be easy if you press into the crack you made, use your thumbs!

[He omits the part about doing it inside the pan instead of on the edge because he judges that's common sense. Maybe taking that for granted was a bad decision, who knows]

[holdthetrumpet]

[Sure, there's going to be death, but learning to cook is a net gain!

It takes him a second to intuit how exactly he is supposed to use his thumbs, but they kind of slot in naturally once he starts trying. And yes, thank you, he can at least figure out that the good inside bits of the egg are supposed to go in the pan proper. He's sheltered but at least he's a fast learner?]

How's that?

[bestchefinparis]

[There are no words that describe how relieved Rémy is Kit isn't completely helpless. You're officially in Linguini's tier, dear prince. Well done! Now you can only get better and better!]

Yes, that's how it's done!

[He actually sounds rather approving!]

...what's it you're doing, again? I mean, eggs are done in many ways.

[holdthetrumpet]

I thought scrambling would be hardest to mess up but I'd be happy with any egg.

[Like... any egg that's not burnt, he'll eat. That'll require him not to burn it, though.]

You would probably know what's a good starter egg better than me, huh?

[What with being a chef and all.]

[bestchefinparis]

Fried will be good. Here. [Have a spatula!] Okay, the key to a good fried egg is that the white is set. Have that spatula, once the white solidified a bit, get it under the egg and keep it moving!

[So it doesn't burn. Chances are it's going to be a bit toasty, but hey, it won't be inedible!]

[holdthetrumpet]

[Okay. This sounds simple. Deceptively so. He doesn't have to flip it, even, just move it around? That's not too hard.

Gonna just... prod the egg. Yeah. Okay.]

So... [While he prods.] How did you learn to do this? It didn't say.

[On the little plaque on the wall, he means.]

[bestchefinparis]

I taught myself! Mostly by watching TV before I could even get in a real kitchen. Before that it was mostly, uh...messing around in a fireplace.

[And getting hit by lightning once]

[holdthetrumpet]

[Okay, he can parse almost all of that, which is good. He's missing a major component of it, which is bad.]

TV?