WEEK 1

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well... That sure did happen. After Swackhammer is done ranting about his terrible group of hostages, everyone is free to explore the surrounding area. But true to his word, it still seems to be heavily under construction, and any areas not on the map are surrounded by giant walls. Have fun with your two small areas of Moron Mountain (just be thankful you have clean underwear).

You don't seem to be entirely alone in this park either, as you will find one other employee if you search Swackhammer Avenue well enough.

Not exactly the most populated park, huh?

But hey, you can exit the park at least! Except the only thing they'll find is a seedy hotel in the dense fog. After searching, most people will come to realize that this is your living quarters, what with the bios that line the front wall. But hey at least you know you have food beyond hot dogs and smoothies!

Have fun, little toons! There are surly wacky adventures that await you.]

26 guests remain

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

{OOC: Welcome to NonDisney's Foolish Mortals! As per usual, there will be no murders committed on the first week! (I mean... not case murders, I'm not sure I trust this disaster cast) If you want to investigate, please put up an INVESTIGATION note in the top level, and put up the name of the NPC you want to communicate there as well if you'd like to do that! Hope you enjoy your stay everyone ;)

Comments

[candymancan]

Still, I'd hope they'd have some semblance of craftsmanship! Of pride in creating the greatest substance known to man, but instead it just tastes... average!

[He sounds like he's about to cry over this.]

[toogoodtobetrue]

...it's just chocolate. It's pretty good, but I'm not sure it's the greatest substance ever.

[She's so confused. What's this display of intense emotion this man's showing, wow!]

[candymancan]

How can you even say such a thing? Chocolate is such an incredible delicacy, a wonderful creation, and they don't even bother to put all the love and care into it that it deserves. They're spitting on my life's work.

[toogoodtobetrue]

[Welp. Why are the adults she's trapped with so insane]

Did he really look like someone who would put love and care into anything? Look around!

[candymancan]

But! It's chocolate! Chocolate deserves better!

[toogoodtobetrue]

[Coraline thinks for a moment]

You know, you said you make this kind of thing for a living, right? If yours are as good as you say and you sell your product, you'd crush this store like the heap of trash it is.

[And if she had to choose between a park owned by the guy who kidnapped them and the guy who's complaining about chocolate, then she'd choose the second.

Whether that's better or not isn't clear]

[candymancan]

I would if I could, dear, but I have nothing here to even make my candy with. No factory, no Oompa Loompas, no ingredients, nothing but trash and garbage and this horrible excuse for chocolate.

... But once I get out of this place? I could buy this park, turn it into a new factory and warehouse...

[toogoodtobetrue]

Maybe there are ingredients. What do you need? Come on, I'll even help you.

[She's already looking forward to Wonka buying the park someday. Serves Swackhammer right, for doing all this]

[candymancan]

Oh... Cocoa, sugar, milk, lecithin, #$̴^̨º̀ʦ̧#̧&ʦ̸+~͘.͝~Ѭ͢~͝#͟, *&͠^ʣ͘~###-

[Well. Those last two were definitely not meant to be said by human mouths. It sounded a bit like Wonka was chewing broken glass while gargling salt water and emitting a high pitched whine.

Wonka winces after he says them, almost as if it hurt him to try.]

Nevermind- you can't find most of them on earth, and I don't give my recipes away to just anyone.

[toogoodtobetrue]

...okay, I'm not sure how to interpret the velociraptor screeches, and...I don't even know what lecithin is. Guess this plan is a bust.

[Welp. You're so weird, Willy Wonka]