WEEK 1

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well... That sure did happen. After Swackhammer is done ranting about his terrible group of hostages, everyone is free to explore the surrounding area. But true to his word, it still seems to be heavily under construction, and any areas not on the map are surrounded by giant walls. Have fun with your two small areas of Moron Mountain (just be thankful you have clean underwear).

You don't seem to be entirely alone in this park either, as you will find one other employee if you search Swackhammer Avenue well enough.

Not exactly the most populated park, huh?

But hey, you can exit the park at least! Except the only thing they'll find is a seedy hotel in the dense fog. After searching, most people will come to realize that this is your living quarters, what with the bios that line the front wall. But hey at least you know you have food beyond hot dogs and smoothies!

Have fun, little toons! There are surly wacky adventures that await you.]

26 guests remain

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

{OOC: Welcome to NonDisney's Foolish Mortals! As per usual, there will be no murders committed on the first week! (I mean... not case murders, I'm not sure I trust this disaster cast) If you want to investigate, please put up an INVESTIGATION note in the top level, and put up the name of the NPC you want to communicate there as well if you'd like to do that! Hope you enjoy your stay everyone ;)

Comments

MONDAY

[grimgrinningghosts]

[standsforrevenge]

[An entire theme park, all to himself? Hell yeah, this is awesome! Gandhi checks out the shopping area first, looking for any cool swag he can score himself. When he sees there's no employees to speak of, he realizes this is even cooler than he first thought.

He sticks his head out of the store and yells:]

GUYS! FREE STUFF!!

[Later, Gandhi can be found at the basketball court showing off his mad skills. Still wearing his rental tux from prom night, he dribbles a ball down the court while taking to him.]

Here he comes, charging down the court, past the opposing defense, he shoots--!!

[Gandhi tosses the ball at the net, then turns with his arms up.]

Nothin' but net.

[The ball misses the net entirely.]

B-Ball

[notthebattleship]

[If anything, there's plenty to entertain herself with, and that includes watching other people run around and fail at things. It's hilarious.

So after spectating Ghandi's throw and awful form, she finally finds the oppotunity to ask what the hell was that.]

Is this an excessively large carnival game?

[Because all that happens in that he throws the ball into the hoop and that's it.]

free stuff you say

[themightybeetle]

[hey Ghandi remember big bugman?

he's coming in to peer at the shopping area, frowning just a bit]

Well that's strange. Why would someone abandon a market?

[beat]

...there's nothing on a pedestal, right?

Shopping Area

[essentiallyinvisible]

[When she hears the call, she comes hurrying over as well.] Do they have books?

Shopping Area

[toogoodtobetrue]

[Look at all this kitschy stuff, Gandhi]

Should we really take any of this junk? It's...so ugly.

free?? stuff????

[udderly]

FREE STUFF?!

[Completely forgetting to be a goddamn cow, Otis is here. Grabbing shit indiscriminately. It's free? So now it's his? That's just the way it is on this sad bitch of an earth.]

Baseball

[captain_cronch]

[Observing this arena and the previous information the green jellyman gave, Centipeedle assumes this is a Combat Arena. What better way than to get started on practice?

See, this cool guy has the idea! He's clearly bad at it, but maybe he'll beef up in the coming Trials by Death.

She's gonna charge the court and try taking the basketball. This definitely won't end badly.]

Shopping Area

[in4apounding]

Are you sure it's free?

[Does Swackhammer really seem like the type to not charge through the nose for merchandise.]

basketball court

[studentbody]

[From the sidelines, Cleo cups her hands around her mouth:]

Boooooo.

INVESTIGATION

[thegreateggscape]

[First thing's first, if Ginger's going to want to form an escape route, she's going to have to get an idea of what she needs to work with.

She doesn't spend much time investigating the hotel itself; she's not trapped there, so it's not at the top of her priority list right now.

Going directly outside, she tries to map out a path through the fog, which, after a (admittedly embarrassing) number of attempts she realizes that she's just going around in circles, and that this wouldn't be a viable option.

She goes down Swackhammer Avenue, the street being something she's completely, conceptually, unfamiliar with. It's pretty daunting, but she's trying to keep her cool whilst scoping it out, looking for, well, pretty much any openings like exploitable sewer grates or any hint at a way out of here. The shops do take some of her interest, and she pauses in front of them as she walks past.

She proceeds to Sportsland, in all it's depressing glory. Passing the basketball court, she squints at the sign. "Meet Michael"? Who was this Michael? What was so special about him? What did they do with him?]

sportsland

[manecharacter]

Don't even bother, that guy is a total flake. You get good at throwing a ball through a hoop and suddenly you think you're the second coming of Christ or some shit.

shops

[candymancan]

You realize no one will stop you if you go inside and take something.

[When did Wonka get here? Don't worry about it. He's looming rather ominously over Ginger, but don't worry about that, either- "ominous" is just his default.]

fog

[captain_cronch]

[In the fog an insect like creature seems to be moving, stalking, lurching...oh it's Centipeedle. She doesn't seem to realize Ginger is in her path since well. Fog.]

Investigation

[grimgrinningghosts]

[So what do you want to investigate in particular, Ginger?]

[manecharacter]

[The absolute disgust in Bojack's expression is apparent from the get go, this place is cheap and it really doesn't warrant the honour of a near-oscar nominated movie actor's presence.

Bojack situates himself where the food is, because comfort eating is the most effective coping mechanism right now. His vices veer more toward sweet foods, but he's packing it in at a pace he will most certainly regret.

He approaches Michael's autograph stand curiously, eager to find someone else who is relevant and real. He rolls his eyes when he finds that it's unoccupied.]

Typical.

[Bojack makes his way to the seedy hotel, ready to sleep off 50 odd hot dogs. Of course his bio catches his eye and of course he reads it, with eager interest until he finds something he objects to.]

Contentious behaviour!?

Bios

[essentiallyinvisible]

[She glances over when she hears his objection.] Are they really accurate? Since that said your co-star was dead, but there's a bio for her and I'm pretty sure I saw her walking around... [And partying on the party bus.]

Bios

[in4apounding]

[Looks between Bojack and the bio a couple times. Reads the bio carefully.]

[. . .]

[Reaches out and pushes the 'play' button.]

..At least they picked a nice song for you?

bios

[codeofhero]

[Yeah he's just staring at his own bio when he hears that little outburst, and shoots Bojack a look.]

I suppose the person keeping us here likes to think that they know about you as well?

[candymancan]

[Wonka has spent many, many years- perhaps even decades- inside of his factory. Even before he locked himself away from the outside world and temporarily shut down, his public appearances were rare, and his time mingling with other people? Even rarer. Normally, three Oompa Loompas in a trenchcoat would handle leaving the factory for him, getting groceries and paying bills and such.

No Oompa Loompas, here. No factory. Nothing but a bunch of strangers, half of them animals, several of them children, and he still has no heir to the factory, and those children he left behind in the factory are probably eating every last crumb of his beautiful candy rooms, and their parents are probably preparing so many lawsuits,

Its enough to drive a man mad.

Wonka finds himself searching the shops for a candy store, to drown his sorrows. You may find him in the aisles of one of the stores, sitting on the floor surrounded by Swackhammer-themed candy wrappers, chewing mournfully on a Swackhammer-shaped chunk of chocolate.]

It's not as good as mine.

[Later, he'll be perusing the bios, initially grinning as he reads over his own- until he reaches the last paragraph.]

"Cruel"? Really, now?

[He doesn't sound indignant exactly, more... surprised.]

shops

[treefetish]

[Audrey has been going around all the food places, trying to get over her sort of innate unease about food whose ingredient lists aren't just. various ways of saying plastic and flavoring.

at least the candy, like. looks normal? all nice in foil and everything? and there's a grown-ass man looking depressed and eating way too much candy, which is something else that's become a normal part of her life, so like.]

Won't you get sick eating all of that?

INVESTIGATION

[in4apounding]

[So first thing, Penny's investigating the hotel lobby and kitchen, mostly looking for anything that might be used to communicate with the outside world.]

[If you catch her in the kitchen, it's also possible to find her inspecting a large kitchen knife, nodding approvingly, and sticking it through an official Moron Mountain(tm) belt pilfered from the souvenir shop.]

[Otherwise, she's carefully inspecting the bios in the lobby, looking over each of them in turn.]

[Sooner or later, a handwritten note appears tacked up next to hers:]

What Is A Huntress?

A lot of people here haven't heard of the Huntsmen and Huntresses. So I wrote this to explain for everyone!

Where I come from, the greatest threat to humanity are the Grimm, monsters that attack humanity on instinct and are drawn to negative emotions.

The Huntsmen and Huntresses are specially trained warriors who fight the Grimm and protect humanity. They can also be hired for work too dangerous for civilians or normal soldiers, but fighting the Grimm is their primary duty.

Prospective Huntsmen and Huntresses usually begin training at one of four specialized academies at seventeen, but many people begin preparatory combat and weapons training at younger ages.


They do not hunt normal animals.

Unless they need to for food, I guess.

I hope this helps!!

--Penny

[essentiallyinvisible]

[The Little Girl's first reaction is to try and hurry out of the park. Sadly, the only thing she finds is the hotel. Still, she takes her time looking over everything, and can be found in front of the bios reading the information on everyone here.]

...raccoons eat bears? They're a way more dangerous invasive species than I thought...

[Later, she can be seen sitting on a bench beside the hot dog stand slowly reading her copy of the Space Jam novelization.]

So did this actually happen here...?

[studentbody]

[Anyone who wanders into the motel not long after it's discovered might be...alarmed, to say the last, to hear a bloodcurdling scream coming from room 15.

Investigate...?]

[handhook]

[The hotel's accommodations aren't anywhere near adequate, compared to what Aquaman is used to. There is one thing that holds his attention for reasons beyond the requisite disgruntled scoffing, though; when he finds the profiles lining the front wall, he takes his time examining them, expression a bit more neutral than what is apparently typical for him.

Until he finds the music button on his own, anyway.

Immediately, his scowl returns, though the expression it brings to his face is more dubious than outright peeved. At first, anyway. With each passing line, he looks more and more like he's trying to decide if he feels insulted or not, and in the end he makes up to the phrase mankind's truest friend before he comes to a decision.

He's learned his lesson from his bus-punching experiences, but he can't resist the urge to give his profile an aggravated whack with the side of his fist. Unfortunately, all this accomplishes is hitting the musical button a second time, restarting the song and prolonging his torment.]

Will this mockery never stop?

[Later on in the day, after poking around the area available to roam, you can catch him at the smoothie stand, where he is apparently fighting with his new skill crane hand in an attempt to make it perform incredibly difficult tasks such as "picking up objects" and "exercising fine motor skills". Really. That's the only reason he's procured a large drink, honest.]