WEEK 1

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well... That sure did happen. After Swackhammer is done ranting about his terrible group of hostages, everyone is free to explore the surrounding area. But true to his word, it still seems to be heavily under construction, and any areas not on the map are surrounded by giant walls. Have fun with your two small areas of Moron Mountain (just be thankful you have clean underwear).

You don't seem to be entirely alone in this park either, as you will find one other employee if you search Swackhammer Avenue well enough.

Not exactly the most populated park, huh?

But hey, you can exit the park at least! Except the only thing they'll find is a seedy hotel in the dense fog. After searching, most people will come to realize that this is your living quarters, what with the bios that line the front wall. But hey at least you know you have food beyond hot dogs and smoothies!

Have fun, little toons! There are surly wacky adventures that await you.]

26 guests remain

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

{OOC: Welcome to NonDisney's Foolish Mortals! As per usual, there will be no murders committed on the first week! (I mean... not case murders, I'm not sure I trust this disaster cast) If you want to investigate, please put up an INVESTIGATION note in the top level, and put up the name of the NPC you want to communicate there as well if you'd like to do that! Hope you enjoy your stay everyone ;)

Comments

[treefetish]

[blink]

... You're really passionate about this! [which is good that's a positive trait she respects this. also it gives her brain the five seconds it needs to process what the fuck he just said.] Why... would you put it in a river? It'd get all wet? And at least slightly phosphorescent?

[candymancan]

No, no, the entire river is made of liquid chocolate! The fact that it gets to run and flow through the river for months means that the final product is smoother and tastes so much better.

... Phosphorescent?

[treefetish]

... That sounds very excessive and probably unnecessary, but also very cool.

You know, glow? I mean, it is a river, right? Rivers glow.

[candymancan]

It's very necessary to get the proper taste, but I'm glad you appreciate it.

Not... as far as I know? Rivers are just water.

[Wonka wonders if this gonna be another "how do you not know what the huntsmen are" situation.]

[treefetish]

... Where do you put your factory runoff, then?

[candymancan]

What does... that have to do with anything?

[it probably just gets dumped in an overflowing landfill or smth let's be honest do you think this man has ever cared about the environment in his life]

[treefetish]

That's... why the rivers glow. Because that's where you put it. That's just what you do.

... Gosh. Are things really that different in places where you have trees? [SHE ALWAYS KNEW IT'D BE DIFFERENT BUT JEEZ. RIVERS NOT EVEN GLOWING. THAT'S SO ODD.]

[candymancan]

You don't have trees? That must be it, then. Rivers don't glow, dear, not where I live, and that's just how it is.

What's it like without trees? And with... glowing rivers.

[treefetish]

It's... fine, mostly. It's all plastic and fake, but most everyone has been okay with it. Things are changing a little, but only as fast as a tree can grow. We can't really work on the whole "free air" problem until it starts producing seeds, though.

[candymancan]

Good to hear it's changing, I suppose. [He sounds fairly non-committal about that, as he doesn't really. Care all that much about her situation, but he does realize that living in a plastic world can't be great.]

"Free air"?

[treefetish]

... Well, it's, um... You know, the outside air in Thneedville isn't really the kind you wanna, you know, breathe too much, so we have to... buy fresh air. They make it in the factories.

[haha wow it's super just as embarrassing to say out loud as she knew it'd be this is great.]

[candymancan]

... And you don't think this is... strange, at all? Has no one ever once complained?

[Wonka's no environmentalist but damn maybe tone it down a little if you literally have your citizens buying air??

Then again. Is it possible to sell air that tastes like chocolate? He'll have to test that when he gets back to the factory.]

[treefetish]

Of course it's strange! People spent actual decades giving that man all their money, for something that everyone could have had for free if anyone cared at all, even just the tiniest bit? It's the strangest thing ever!

[AHAHA just. swallow down 15 years of resentment. swallow on down.]

But, I mean... Nobody knew it was even an option! None of them knew trees were real.

[candymancan]

What even happened to the trees, in the first place?

[Tell him the Lorax lore.]

[treefetish]

Someone chopped them all down to make... some sort of thing. I always hoped it was something very important that people really needed, but, y'know... People. It probably wasn't.