WEEK 1

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well... That sure did happen. After Swackhammer is done ranting about his terrible group of hostages, everyone is free to explore the surrounding area. But true to his word, it still seems to be heavily under construction, and any areas not on the map are surrounded by giant walls. Have fun with your two small areas of Moron Mountain (just be thankful you have clean underwear).

You don't seem to be entirely alone in this park either, as you will find one other employee if you search Swackhammer Avenue well enough.

Not exactly the most populated park, huh?

But hey, you can exit the park at least! Except the only thing they'll find is a seedy hotel in the dense fog. After searching, most people will come to realize that this is your living quarters, what with the bios that line the front wall. But hey at least you know you have food beyond hot dogs and smoothies!

Have fun, little toons! There are surly wacky adventures that await you.]

26 guests remain

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

{OOC: Welcome to NonDisney's Foolish Mortals! As per usual, there will be no murders committed on the first week! (I mean... not case murders, I'm not sure I trust this disaster cast) If you want to investigate, please put up an INVESTIGATION note in the top level, and put up the name of the NPC you want to communicate there as well if you'd like to do that! Hope you enjoy your stay everyone ;)

Comments

[dothebackslide]

[He goes on a face journey trying to decide if this works or not. Like his lips curl up and he bites his tongue and tilts his head and finally goes "yeah i can roll with that.]

Really? Well, I'm from Uttica and I've never heard of the... Krusty Burger.

[Does that work? He thinks that works, he's losing the plot.]

[toogoodtobetrue]

['Where the heck is Uttica and how can I avoid going there', Coraline wonders. She refrains from saying she had never heard of it either, and for what seems to her like the eleventh time she moves the burger on the counter]

Now you heard of it. Congratulations.

[Welp]

Eat your steamed-clams-slash-hamburger, Mr. Backslide. I'll just...go to my room because...I left the oven on. Yeah. It'll all fill with smoke if I don't turn it off, you know?

[And she steps back, trying to leave the kitchen and this crazy man]

[dothebackslide]

[no no no no no NO NO NO NO

He quickly steps in front of the exit.]

You know, these Krusty Burgers are quite similar to the ones they have... at.. Steamed Clams.

[toogoodtobetrue]

Are you even listening to yourself?!

[She yelled that before she could stop herself. After a moment of horror, she looks away, trying to establish some form of sense]

I mean, read the bag! Krussssty Burger. Not Steamed Clams. A genuine Krusty Burger, that's what it is.

[dothebackslide]

So... you... call them Krusty Burgers, even though they are obviously Steamed Cla- Steamed. Grilled?

Steamed.

[Fuck.]

[toogoodtobetrue]

[Her only response is to show the meat of the burger and the very obvious marks on it.

Grilled, buddy]

[dothebackslide]

[........]

Yes, I should be goi- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!

[Pointing to the back of the room. He can salvage this!!!!]

[toogoodtobetrue]

Eeeh? What?

[Coraline turns around. What's happening now?!]

[dothebackslide]

[There's nothing happening.

Dan's forehead is just covered in sweat by this point. He's... so... close.....]

[toogoodtobetrue]

...there's nothing going on here!

[So close, Dan, so close]

[dothebackslide]

NOTHING GOING ON HERE?!

IN THIS PART OF MORON MOUNTAIN!

AT THIS TIME OF YEAR!

LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN THIS KITCHEN!

[ITS FINE HE'LL MAKE IT WORK.]

[toogoodtobetrue]

[Coraline's eyes dart around before she lets out a hesitant:]

...yes!

[Yes, there's nothing going on!]

[dothebackslide]

[Just two more lines, just two more lines and he's free.]

Can I see it?

[toogoodtobetrue]

...no?

[Yes? No? At this point she just doesn't know]

1/?

[dothebackslide]

[THEY'RE ALMOST DONE THEY'RE ALMOST FREE!

He takes a deep breath, trying to relax for the final line.]

[dothebackslide]

Well, I must say Seymour, you're an odd fellow.... but you steam a good clam.

done

[dothebackslide]

No, I mean Coraline! Steam... ham. Right? No, it was clam a good... steam? No that doesn't-

FUCK!

[He kicks the wall and is immediately hopping on his foot in pain.]

[toogoodtobetrue]

...

[She has wondered it before and she's going to wonder again:

Why are all the adults in her life insane.]

...you should lie down, Mr. Backslide. The shock of being here's getting to you.

[dothebackslide]

I WAS SO CLOSE TO GETTING IT RIGHT! THE WHOLE ROUTINE!

[He just flops onto the ground into a little ball he can curl up in.]

[toogoodtobetrue]

You'll get it next time.

[Pat pat on your back, Dan]

Just...try again. With someone else.

[Whatever happened here apparently meant something to him. Coraline has no idea what was the point of all that, but she can't avoid feeling somewhat bad]

[dothebackslide]

I'm a disgrace to toon comedians EVERYWHERE.

[toogoodtobetrue]

You're not a disgrace! Come on, it was just a mistake and nobody but me saw it. If it makes you feel better I won't tell anyone.

[dothebackslide]

[Puppy dog eyes.]

You mean it?

[toogoodtobetrue]

Yeah, I promise I won't. You just... [Stop being a pitiable man who's curled in middle of burned bacon and toast? That'd be a start] ...you just stand up from there already.