WEEK 1

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well... That sure did happen. After Swackhammer is done ranting about his terrible group of hostages, everyone is free to explore the surrounding area. But true to his word, it still seems to be heavily under construction, and any areas not on the map are surrounded by giant walls. Have fun with your two small areas of Moron Mountain (just be thankful you have clean underwear).

You don't seem to be entirely alone in this park either, as you will find one other employee if you search Swackhammer Avenue well enough.

Not exactly the most populated park, huh?

But hey, you can exit the park at least! Except the only thing they'll find is a seedy hotel in the dense fog. After searching, most people will come to realize that this is your living quarters, what with the bios that line the front wall. But hey at least you know you have food beyond hot dogs and smoothies!

Have fun, little toons! There are surly wacky adventures that await you.]

26 guests remain

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

{OOC: Welcome to NonDisney's Foolish Mortals! As per usual, there will be no murders committed on the first week! (I mean... not case murders, I'm not sure I trust this disaster cast) If you want to investigate, please put up an INVESTIGATION note in the top level, and put up the name of the NPC you want to communicate there as well if you'd like to do that! Hope you enjoy your stay everyone ;)

Comments

[udderly]

[yeah but does he look smart enough to do math]

So whatcha figuring out, if it's not that?

[oh_worm]

I'm just working through a couple equations from the 2700s. Beeblebrox's First Postulate, Rochambeau the Second's Third, junk like that. Helps pass the time.

[udderly]

[Otis nods like he understands, even though he doesn't.]

Are you, like, a math person? Or is doing math like playing bingo or whatever where you're from?

[oh_worm]

[ She giggles. ]

I'm the smart one on the team, if that's what you're asking. Just like Chris is the strong one, Wallow is the nice one, and Danny is the one with severe moop issues.

[udderly]

Oh man, he sounds like Peck. Peck is always worried Freddy is gonna eat him, but they're just friends. [Otis laughs, like that's not an Incredibly Horrifying Statement.] Freddy's a vegetarian, though.

[oh_worm]

... Man, talking animal life sounds tough. At least Danny usually doesn't think someone else is gonna eat him, and if he does it just means he hasn't slept in a while.

[udderly]

I don't think it's any worse than being a human. [A beat.] Usually I'm more, like, hush-hush about the whole talking animal thing? It's not kosher to let humans know where I'm from, but uh. There's a bunch of us here so that cat is way out of the bag.

[oh_worm]

It's cool. My horse back home talks to me, but only because he got telepathy in the See-Through Zone and when I was little he figured out the meaning of the universe. Otherwise, if animals talk where I come from you guys are really good at keeping the secret.

[udderly]

[They're the opposite of good at it, actually, but the sentiment is nice.]

Man, figuring out the meaning of the universe sounds rough. One time Freddy got hit by lightning and became a genius for a whole and he was never the same afterward. [That's a lie. He was back to normal the very next episode.] Figuring out the meaning of the universe sounds way worse.

[oh_worm]

He was paralyzed for years, it was rough. But now he has psychic powers, so maybe that makes up for it? He doesn't seem too bummed about it.

[udderly]

Long term consequences are for humans. When your children grow up and leave you constantly, you just kinda stop caring about stuff like being friends with Bigfoot.

[SHRUG. It's fine. Barnyard is fine.]

[oh_worm]

[ she doesn't wanna think about most of that too much sssssso ]

You're friends with Bigfoot?

[udderly]

Yeah! He's a pretty cool guy. We saved him from being captured by humans once.

[Reason why Ryan Bergara has never found Bigfoot: barnyard animals.]

[oh_worm]

[ ]

Well, that's the kind of thing I bet would happen, in terms of actually meeting Bigfoot.

[udderly]

If we ever get out of here, I can introduce you if you want. He's not, like. Against humans? Just, y'know. Being studied for science, which I think everybody is against on a personal level.

[oh_worm]

I can avoid studying him if it would make him uncomfortable.