WEEK 2

[grimgrinningghosts]

[A week has gone buy, and nothing really horrifying has happened. Sure it's a crappy amusement park but no one's dead yet! While you're scenario is not great to be in, but you have people to bond with, "fresh air", food, and free Moron Mountain merch! So maybe you have fallen into a sense of security, content to hang out in this terrible theme park until Swackhammer decides to let you go because everyone is too boring for his park.

This won't last, however.]

26 guests remain

[SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY]

{OOC: Hello everyone! This is the first murder week of nondis. This Friday (around noon est), we will have our first investigation and, of course, the first body of the round. While you wait, please respond to our first AC, due this Wednesday!

Have fun, you silly toons.}

Comments

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well, Wabuu is the worst possible thing here to find this. Okay.

There is a baby in a suit in the middle of Swackhammer Avenue. He’s...definitely familiar to you, he was on the bus with you. But somehow something about him seems off now - maybe that small slip of paper by him on the ground will have some answers?]

[shoshtupid]

[Well first of all, Wabuu's gonna gently kick the baby to make sure he's not dead.

Then he'll try removing the slip of paper. ]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[The Boss Baby is not dead! Just out of it. It makes him cry more. Thanks, Wabuu.

The paper reads ”SECRET BABY FORMU” before devolving into scribbles midletter.]

[shoshtupid]

[It's not the worst thing Wabuu has done to a child, just saying.

He's gonna toss the piece of paper aside to anyone who wants it.]

[oh_worm]

[ picking that shit UP ]

Secret baby formu-what?

[ Looks over at the baby. ]

You're being very quiet. You hiding something, baby?

[udderly]

[looks at the baby. looks at the paper beth's holding.]

Do you think he's only smart if he drinks special milk?

[oh_worm]

Maybe? But I don't know where we're gonna get special milk now if his baby smarts are all dried up.

[udderly]

I don't know. [may the lord forgive me for what i'm about to suggest] I could try and feed him some of my milk? Fresh milk is, like. Way different than farm milk.

[oh_worm]

... does that... mean someone has to milk you?

[shoshtupid]

[looks at Beth

then looks at the cow]

[imthetrashman]

[While the Not-So-Boss Baby is crying, you might notice it’s maybe just a little more legit than the fake acting they did on the bus ride.

A shrill voice calls from the distance:]

Who’s makin’ all dat racket?!

[Mr. Swackhammer stomps over, wearing a horrifying Taz onesie that doesn’t really fit him. He picks up the Boss Baby in a manner that is most definitely not safe for a baby.]

Ah, crap! I forgot, this one turns into a regular baby if he doesn’t get his drug baby formula! Crap! A baby can’t kill anyone unless it makes jokes about being the Baby Jesus and North Korea negotiations! This baby is freakin’ useless!

[And so, Mr. Swackhammer puts The Boss Baby back on the ground in disgust. Before an idea strikes him. See the moon orbiting Moron Mountain?

He reels his foot back and quite literally punts The Boss Baby into the sky with superhuman strength, until he turns into a flaming projectile that quite literally crashes into the Moon - causing it (the moon) to blow up upon impact.

The Boss Baby is dead.]

[udderly]

[uhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH]

[notthebattleship]

[This is too much.]

I'm getting something to drink.

[She means tea. Off to the kitchen she goes.]

[oh_worm]

You can't kick babies into the moon for being babies!

[imthetrashman]

Babies don’t contribute to my capitalist worldview! They don’t pay rent!

[udderly]

They're BABIES, you weirdo gremlin man! They don't make money!

[oh_worm]

Your capitalism is flawed and unsustainable!

[shoshtupid]

Was it really worth the trouble? Someone would've killed him anyway.

[codeofhero]

Finally, I thought it would--

[turning back around. Oh. Ohhhh.]

...What is this? Some sort of terrible nightmare?

[imthetrashman]

Don’t worry. I got rid of the awful Alec Baldwin man.

[bringmecontracts]

[Meanwhile King Dice strolls in wearing devil pajamas, idly watching this actual dumpster fire.]

Killin' the guests before they have the chance to kill each other sure does seem like the best way to handle this, doesn't it?

[He's joking, of course.]

[imthetrashman]

He was a baby!

[carbonairhead]

[ shows up fifteen minutes late with- ...nothing, fizzy just has a cute night cap ]

He killed someone?! What? Oh gosh...!

[manecharacter]

[Bojack is absolutely mortified, don't get him wrong but-]

He has one hell of a leg on him for a fat guy.

[thegreateggscape]

That's all you have to say about this?

[A BABY JUST GOT GEORGES MELIES'D TO DEATH.]