FOURTH TRIAL

[imthetrashman]

[The banner up above the basketball court has burnt up, replacing the first part of the phrase. It now just reads “SMOKE EM OUT!”. Coraline’s podium has been replaced with a dead mouse while Morty’s has turned into a pickle - it’s pickle podium.

King Dice’s stand is now selling Pickle Rick merchandise.]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Space Jam. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Looney Tunes Lore most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. There's also Michael’s pessimistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Space Jam truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Porky wetting himself which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Wayne Knight's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have a Space Jam tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

Comments

[oh_worm]

I wouldn't control anyone, it's some bunk nonsense. I've been controlled before a couple times, it sucks major buns.

[in4apounding]

I'm so sorry, that must have been terrible.

[VOLUME THREE SPECULATION FLASHBACKS, THANK YOU]

...Do you know if there's a way to tell if someone's being controlled, then, though?

[oh_worm]

If they were still being controlled right now? Unless the controller is really good at acting, they'd be doing stuff that's out of character for them. It's hard to imitate everything about a person, you know?

[in4apounding]

So that part of the plan probably didn't actually happen, at least...

[Unless someone's about to start speaking in a really weird accent or something.]

[treefetish]

How would we even know? [hi shes still messed up about this]

[in4apounding]

I'm pretty sure everyone's acting like themselves? And if they'd been controlled to do this, it wouldn't actually be their fault, so if they WEREN'T controlled now they could just tell us?

[candymancan]

Unless they have no memory of what happened while being controlled.

[in4apounding]

Oh. Maybe. ...No one's mentioned any gaps in their memories, though?

[standsforrevenge]

Gaps in our what now?

[in4apounding]

Time they can't remember? Like if they were being controlled.

[groove i swear to fuck, this isn't in character, i swear i will personally riot]

Aside from just. Being asleep, I guess.

[oh_worm]

That's definitely possible. You'd want that built in for something like this.

[captain_cronch]

[Centi steps in with a couple hands of pickle merc before miming hitting herself on the head. A light tap, maybe?]

[in4apounding]

...You think we should check people for head wounds?

[captain_cronch]

[Nods! Another thumbs up for Penny...oh there goes a pickle.]

Wound check?

[in4apounding]

It could help, yes. Um-

[Addressing the room at large.]

Everyone whose hair might match the one Otis found, can we check to make sure you're not hurt? Just- on your heads. Since that's where the hair would've come from.

[standsforrevenge]

[Dead on the inside, but otherwise unharmed!]

[in4apounding]

[Can't match the hair if you don't have any hair to be missing.]

[fiftyyearspast]

[No head wounds here! Maybe some old scars, but nothing recent for sure!]

[codeofhero]

[Dinobot removes his helmet and reveals his long, luxurious dark hair and- no, that's nonsense.

But he does have a thought.]

The hair was found in the shop, yes? Could it perhaps have been planted there?

[in4apounding]

Maybe? How would the culprit have gotten it, though?

[She doesn't. Have to comb her hair. She doesn't know how easily it can come out.]

[oh_worm]

My hair gets everywhere, man, it's a thing, I'll admit to that.

[udderly]

. . . It was in kind of a weird place to find a hair.

[carbonairhead]

So... Wait, then how'd it get there?

[ Fizzy is so lost. ]

[codeofhero]

You said yourself that it didn't look like there had been a fight.

[oh_worm]

[ No wounds! ]