FOURTH TRIAL

[imthetrashman]

[The banner up above the basketball court has burnt up, replacing the first part of the phrase. It now just reads “SMOKE EM OUT!”. Coraline’s podium has been replaced with a dead mouse while Morty’s has turned into a pickle - it’s pickle podium.

King Dice’s stand is now selling Pickle Rick merchandise.]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Space Jam. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Looney Tunes Lore most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. There's also Michael’s pessimistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Space Jam truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Porky wetting himself which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Wayne Knight's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have a Space Jam tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

Comments

[standsforrevenge]

[Gandhi is here? Somehow? He's got a bunch of bloodstained blueprints on his podium and he blinks blearily as he looks around the room.]

Yo... where's the other kid? The one with the anime hair?

[treefetish]

... Anime?

[standsforrevenge]

Y'know, her hair's all blue, like in anime!

[fiftyyearspast]

[When it's all said and done, Jack seems particularly interested in the blueprints.]

What are those?

[standsforrevenge]

Oh, these? They were all around the place! It's like... plans to turn somebody's corpse into a car! It's pretty sweet.

[Hands 'em over.]

[in4apounding]

[Penny's here, with some really wet, burned cloth and a lighter. Perhaps these two things are even connected, only time and debate will tell.]

These were in one of the washing machines. Whoever left them there turned it on.

[udderly]

Is that a lighter? There was one missing ftom the weed shop.

[in4apounding]

Yes.

[She clicks it on to demonstrate.]

[standsforrevenge]

[ugggh he's gotta do this, doesn't he?]

All right, all right, here's the deal. Somebody [coughWONKAcough] really wanted this guy dead. His neck was all broken and there were these big ass scratch marks all over him, and he got impaled or some shit, AND the wall was all cracked and stuff like he got thrown into it!

It was fucked up, dude. [stares at Wonka] Who'd do something that fucked up, huh?

[treefetish]

Who's even strong enough to do something like that?

[udderly]

Well, I found this [holds up the black hair] in the weed shop, along with broken glass. It wasn't that messed up in there, though, so I don't know how any of that happened? Like, there wasn't a struggle or anything.

[in4apounding]

Mister Swackhammer or Mister King Dice.

[Was that a trick question.]

[codeofhero]

Scratch marks?

[Hmm...]

Could you, perhaps, describe them further?

[candymancan]

I'm sorry, did I happen to hear my name unsubtly coughed out by a stoner?

1/2

[fiftyyearspast]

No. I remember now. [Jack's actively fighting off whatever it is. He still has some humanity left in him to feel remorse over Morty, but the guilty look lasts about a few seconds before the infection takes over. The transformation's gross, really. The samurai armor grows with his new form, he's gotten about a few feet taller and his neck twists maybe three times for good measure. Jack's been letting out a bloodcurdling screech as it goes on, only stopping when the last of him's buried under 'Aku's' skin.]

2/2

[shapeshiftingevil]

YOUR BATTLE'S WITH ME NOW.

VOTING TIME

[imthetrashman]

Alright, unless ya wanna keep beatin' up Satan all night, I suggest you start votin' before I get bored!

[in4apounding]

[Yeah unless something crazy happens sooner or later she'll get over here and put in a vote, it'll just take her a bit to stop trying to punch Jack back out of Aku.]

[Just getting this in now cause Phas is very tired.]

Aku

Aku in Jack's body

Jackku

the demon tree jerk who possessed Jack and killed Morty

you know who I mean you big green space jerk

[candymancan]

[Wonka seems almost wistful when he writes down Aku's name. Goodbye, giant demon man. Perhaps in another life, you two could cause chaos together.]

[carbonairhead]

[ the rainbow, limping back to the locket, ]

> JackAku

[udderly]

>AKU

[???? he thinks????]

[codeofhero]

[Well now that they finally have the chance...]

Aku

[....And on second thought, he'll add-]

Jack

[oh_worm]

Jack/Aku

[standsforrevenge]

[let's pretend someone got Gandhi to his feet long enough to write THAT GUY]

Slamurai Jam

[imthetrashman]

Blah blah some speech about execution blah.

[“Jacku” vanishes from sight and then appears at the end of the basketball court. Aku seems unimpressed by all of this and he especially seems unimpressed when a bunch of smoke figures that vaguely resemble Jack appear with swords.

Within moments, the smoke figures all start attacking Aku at once. He laughs as he swats them off at first, not seeming worried about this supposed execution at all. In fact, he only seems slightly put off as he realizes that the figures just keep coming with swords swinging.

Aku decides to fight back even harder, and the figures retaliate by being more strategic with their attacks. After awhile they start to nic him, and Aku becomes increasingly frustrated that he tries to stop this mass of seemingly invincible Jacks.

In fact, he’s so frustrated that, for once, he doesn’t notice one of the Jacks running at him to stab him right in the back.

It doesn’t kill him, but as he whips around to swat at the Jack that stabbed him, several more leap in to stab him in the back. And then a few more. And even more after that.

Before Aku collapses to the ground, he lets out a roar of pain and frustration. The army of Jacks look over his body and, once a few more stab him to make sure he’s dead, they all poof away.]