FOURTH TRIAL

[imthetrashman]

[The banner up above the basketball court has burnt up, replacing the first part of the phrase. It now just reads “SMOKE EM OUT!”. Coraline’s podium has been replaced with a dead mouse while Morty’s has turned into a pickle - it’s pickle podium.

King Dice’s stand is now selling Pickle Rick merchandise.]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Space Jam. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Looney Tunes Lore most of the jokes will go over a typical viewers head. There's also Michael’s pessimistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Space Jam truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Porky wetting himself which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Wayne Knight's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes, by the way, i DO have a Space Jam tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎

Comments

[carbonairhead]

Oh... Oh, should we...

[standsforrevenge]

It ain't me!

[Look at that shiny bald head!]

HAIR CHECK FOR REAL

[udderly]

Yeah. If you have black hair, come let us compare it!

[fiftyyearspast]

[his hair sure is black!]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[It's black! And its length is very close to the sample.]

[udderly]

. . . Um. Your hair is really close to the one I found.

[candymancan]

And I believe he mentioned earlier that he would likely have the strength to perform those feats of carnage.

[Peanut galleryyy]

[fiftyyearspast]

My kill count doesn't include humans, for one thing. Much less some child.

Maybe the hair was from earlier this week? I did visit the weed dispensary then.

[udderly]

I don't know, it was in kind of a weird place to be leaving hair.

[standsforrevenge]

Unless he's being framed!!

[in4apounding]

Killing monsters is a lot different than killing a person, yes. Just because someone's done that wouldn't necessarily make it easier to kill someone like Morty.

[fiftyyearspast]

[first time for everything! he kills six entire humans later on season 5]

Can't deny that. He might have had malicious intent, but he's. Yeah.

[in4apounding]

Mhm. Even if Morty had attacked first, you wouldn't have to do- all that just in self defense.

[Not like just leaving it at, say, blowing up a few military grade aircraft.]

[candymancan]

Your kill count prior to coming here means nothing. But, as you helpfully pointed out, we did find blueprints about controlling someone's body. If you were, say, not in control at the time, but the boy's plan went awry and turned you against him...

Speculation, of course.

[loneleye]

[Kubo dissociated through the whole rest of the trial it’s fine

but anyway his hair sure is black as well!]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[It's definitely black! It does seem a bit too short to be a match, however.]

[oh_worm]

[ Beth sure has black hair too! ]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[It sure is black! It's length seems to be a pretty close match to the hair too]

[udderly]

. . . Tell me you didn't.

[BETH HOW COULD YOU WE'RE BUTTER LETTUCE FRIENDS]

[oh_worm]

I didn't! I'm a little lacking in the claws department, for one thing.

[udderly]

I'm just checking, because we were talking about controlling other people and real science stuff!

[in4apounding]

Beth's like a superhero or something though! Controlling people is, like, superVILLAIN stuff.

[oh_worm]

I wouldn't control anyone, it's some bunk nonsense. I've been controlled before a couple times, it sucks major buns.

[in4apounding]

I'm so sorry, that must have been terrible.

[VOLUME THREE SPECULATION FLASHBACKS, THANK YOU]

...Do you know if there's a way to tell if someone's being controlled, then, though?

[studentbody]

Ugh, just...don't mess it up, okay?

[Cleo steps forward; her hair is black but only comes to her shoulders.]