Mock Gaiden Investigation

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well it's Friday now, the deadline for the Agent's motive. And, well, it's much better than "you get snacks if you kill someone" and we've had someone literally murder for that in another game so being coy about it seems moot.

Still, none of you guys know about that, so maybe you think no one will take the bait?

Well there doesn't seem to be anything off in the Mansion! At least yall don't have to wake up to a bloody mess next to you today! Count your blessings.]

Comments

[regionsbeyond]

Ah.. [Unfortunate. She doesn't bother to check who else is around to hear it but people Generally Want To Know of these things so she raises her voice regardless.] There appears to have been an incident.

[And then rolls closer- at least as close as she can without rolling through blood because honestly she has standards- to get a better look at said furry. Whomst.]

[dannydorito]

[Bill's exiting the tattoo parlor as Madame Leota calls out, and he waddles over gleefully.]

Oooh, "an incident", very official sounding. Who'd you off, Surf-n-Turf?

[regionsbeyond]

Oh, please. As if I would kill anyone for such a paltry reason as what we were offered.

[dannydorito]

Good, good, you'll need to practice that defense for when these other chumps find out.

[grimgrinningghosts]

[As she gets closer, it becomes abundantly clear who this body belonged to, even with the plentiful amount of furries here, there is only one weird dog like him.

Stan is dead.]

[dannydorito]

[Oh. Well.]

[That's sure a thing.]

[Bill takes off his hat for a moment.]

[dannydorito]

[And throws it to the ground.]

OH COME ON, I WANTED TO KILL THE FLEABAG!

[kindofadrag]

The... the... the dog died?

[sniff . . sniffle...]

[dannydorito]

YES! That was supposed to be my petty revenge by proxy! What the hell!

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[Eclipsa's arrived and-

...oh god.]

...Darling, you're shifting from charmingly evil to annoyingly evil real fast.

[dannydorito]

[Welcome to the Gravity Falls experience, Eclipsa.]

I'll be any kind of evil I want! Who kills the DOG, honestly?! ...That's the kind of thing I would do!

[Bill.]

[kindofadrag]

[interrupts with a literal fountain of tears. The dog died!!]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[Dammit Bill.]

I'm sure he's okay! He just... went to a little farm! Away from here!

[kindofadrag]

Huh? But Mom and Dad told us that's where the cat went...

[REALIZATION]

Ohhhhh, noooo, Snowball!!

[just. bawling.]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

Annnnnnd he's with her up there! And they're best friends!

[mostwantedfrog]

Aaaaand they are deceased.

[kindofadrag]

[BAWWWWW]

[dannydorito]

I want to be annoyed, but that's honestly kind of impressive. Really putting the Ghiblis to shame.

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Hey, while you're all freaking out, wanna check the Psychic Fax building proper?]

[orwellgirl]

[is the crying muffled in there bc that's her goal rn let's go]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[She elbows him.]

[mostwantedfrog]

What? You want her to live a life of believing lies? Better she knows now, then she is not heartbroken and disillusioned later.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

Absolutely. Lies are wonderful. I use them all the time.

[mostwantedfrog]

Oh, so do I. But lies with purpose to shield self. Lying to spare feelings of others... No. What is point. The truth will toughen them. Ready them for bitter Russian winter by confronting with bitter truth.

[orwellgirl]

Ugh, stop making her make that annoying noise!