MOCK TRIAL

[hijackers]

"Alright, mooks, everybody make youse way down to the trial room, pronto!"

[There's certainly no trial room on the map. No trial soundstage, no trial room, where oh where could they be talking about. You might spend a long time looking for it, or only be thinking about it for a single second before it comes over you.

Whenever you close your ears, or even blink, you find yourself there.

The room is a cartoony laboratory, filled to the brims with scientific equipment and beakers beyond wondrous, almost impossible to imagine being utilized in any sort of actual scientific context. A large monitor is mounted on the ceiling, playing a single clip on repeat along with the words "IMAGINEER THINK TANK". There is a large stage underneath that television, which your two hosts take their places at quite readily.

A circle of metal podiums is set up on the ground floor, 26 in total. Each is marked with a name and a photograph of the individual who's supposed to take their place there, as well as a keyboard for inputting...something. The 26th podium is marked with a grayscale photograph of Gwenpool.

Your fellow participants appear in the room one-by-one, seeming to "digitize" out of nowhere. Once everyone has appeared in the room and taken their place, the air around them seems to go deathly still.

Mugsi holds a cigar between her lips, lighting it from a stick of dynamite lit by Kate. With Mugsi taking a deep inhale, Kate speaks, the dynamite somehow fizzling out.]

Each of you has a place you oughta be sitting, and your job is to solve the mystery that's been put before ya. Once you think you know who did it, input their name on the keyboard in front of you. Majority rules, participation is mandatory, and if ya vote wrong you're not gonna see the light of day ever again!

So, get on with it!

Comments

[not_over_yet]

[ And now Basil raises his voice he hopes loudly enough to gain the groups's attention. ] AS I WAS SAYING, before we were sidetracked...

I for one am completely dissatisfied with this whole experience. And you others? [ He looks around the room pointedly. ] Are any of you glad to have come here?

I demand to speak with the owner of this establishment! [ Tap tap tapping one foot. Hurry it up! ]

[dothelokimotion]

I would certainly rate my experience rather low.

[yayashton]

Yeah. Seconded or whatever.

[He sounds really unenthusiastic about it. From the way you guys were talking, he thought something exciting was gonna happen.]

[stepfordsynthezoid]

I once again fail to see the purpose in harassing a kidnapper and potential murderer at this juncture.

[billbillbill]

[...the two ladies turn to each other, and there's some...panic between them, bringing with it a momentary pause. Genuine discomfort.

A third figure appears alongside them, materializing from seemingly nowhere in the same manner that the others appeared to. He's on the younger side of things, though has the jaded eyes of an older man. He wears a blue labcoat, and a brightly-colored bowtie to match.

He coughs loudly, addressing the mouse directly from on top of the stage.]

What seems to be the problem?

[yayashton]

. . . Hi. Can I ask a question? How do I get myself written off this show? I don't want to be associated with any of this.

[billbillbill]

Last I checked, you all volunteered for this.

[dothelokimotion]

[ His eyes narrow. ]

Do you have that in writing?

[billbillbill]

Not in writing. No contracts were signed. But you all agreed to test this ride.

[yayashton]

Then can I get a pay raise? Whatever I'm making isn't worth this.

[billbillbill]

No.

[worldsaway]

[Thor is surprised that this worked, somehow. He has absolutely no idea who this guy is, but he shoots a glance toward Basil and back at the man before them.]

You're the problem.

[billbillbill]

I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, I haven't interacted with you until now, Mr. Odinson, so it seems that you're just belligerent.

[worldsaway]

I make no apologies for my belligerence, just as you make no apologies for kidnapping us from across the galaxy and bringing us here for your game. Did you expect a warm welcome?

[stepfordsynthezoid]

[...Virginia has shut off every emotion in her brain right now and even she is succumbing to complete shock and surprise.]

You.... actually are William Nye the mechanical engineer.

[billbillbill]

A recreation of him. As are many of the figures within EPCOT.

It shouldn't come as a surprise.

[stepfordsynthezoid]

Oh.

Good.

My children watched your show, it would be very difficult to separate art and artist on this level.

[dothelokimotion]

[ Well now. ]

Your establishment seems far too keen on murder mysteries. Do we have any assurance that they themselves are not sowing this deception among us?

[billbillbill]

I can assure you that these two women are not the murderers, if that is your question. One of you committed murder, or, well, intended to commit murder.

Hard to define what constitutes murder within virtual reality.

[greekrevival]

[ Mental prep, a flippant look, arms crossed. ]

I'd like to rate my stay here, so far. Does Yelp have a zero star option?

[billbillbill]

You can take that up with guest service once the ride has concluded.

[greekrevival]

How, if apparently the only way to get out of here is to kill or die, 'cause I'm definitely not doing that first one.

[bayoublues]

...

...You don't look evil.

[yayashton]

Surprise. Villains rarely do - we're just the unlucky people who drew the short straw.

[bayoublues]

Ah.

...Okay. I don't remember signing up for this.