foolishmortals

[Well... That sure did happen. After Swackhammer is done ranting about his terrible group of hostages, everyone is free to explore the surrounding area. But true to his word, it still seems to be heavily under construction, and any areas not on the map are surrounded by giant walls. Have fun with your two small areas of Moron Mountain (just be thankful you have clean underwear).

You don't seem to be entirely alone in this park either, as you will find one other employee if you search Swackhammer Avenue well enough.

Not exactly the most populated park, huh?

But hey, you can exit the park at least! Except the only thing they'll find is a seedy hotel in the dense fog. After searching, most people will come to realize that this is your living quarters, what with the bios that line the front wall. But hey at least you know you have food beyond hot dogs and smoothies!

Have fun, little toons! There are surly wacky adventures that await you.]

26 guests remain

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

{OOC: Welcome to NonDisney's Foolish Mortals! As per usual, there will be no murders committed on the first week! (I mean... not case murders, I'm not sure I trust this disaster cast) If you want to investigate, please put up an INVESTIGATION note in the top level, and put up the name of the NPC you want to communicate there as well if you'd like to do that! Hope you enjoy your stay everyone ;)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's Coraline.

[Tired siiiiigh. Why's her name so difficult to pronounce to so many people]

And I didn't tell you to get here.

Mm.

[He moves past her to sit down on one of the counters, waiting patiently for something.]

...if you want food the fridge is over there.

[What do you want, Dan? Got anything in mind?]

[He suddenly stands up, face filled with rage.]

COOOORRRRAAAALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEE!

What?!

[She doesn't back down, instead staring him right to the face]

Why is smoke coming out of your oven, Coraline?

[There is no smoke coming of the oven. But at least he's getting the name right?]

Smoke coming out of-- [She whips her head around. The oven seems okay] There's no smoke coming out...of the oven...?

[Wait. What if Wabuu left something in the oven after making this mess? He may have left it on. There could have been smoke before and she didn't notice? Imposs...ible?

This is something she can't ignore, because if it's left unattended the fire can destroy this ugly place. Be right back, going to hurry to the oven and open it]

Mmmmm.

[He sits down on the counter again, casually watching this unfold.

Inside the oven is a paper bag with words "Krusty Burger" written on the side in marker.]

[Well this is weird. Coraline takes out the bag]

Krusty Burger?

[...]

Wait, the oven wasn't even on!

[She puts the paper bag on the counter near Dan. She's so confused about everything]

I thought we were having Steamed Clams.

[This is fine, all of this is immensely normal.]

Who would get clams in their hamburguer? That doesn't make any sense!

[She even looks inside. Steamed clams, huh. Wait a second--]

This isn't even clams, it's just a... [Coraline pours the contents of the bag out] It's just a burger!

You call steamed clams hamburgers?

[He's a little annoyed that he has to change that much for the bit to still work but by god he's a professional.]

[MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOMEONE LESS SANE TO PLAY THE ROLE, DAN]

You're so weird...

[Coraline pushes the ~~steamed clams~~ hamburger away, takes a deep breath, and pretty much talks with the tone she uses when she's starting to run out of patience]

It's a hamburguer. From the Krusty Burger. Not the Krusty Clam, not the Krusty Krab, not the Clam Burger, the Krusty Burger. It's a--a hamburger!

From what region.

Wh--

[She feels like he didn't hear a word she said. Quick, Coraline, say the first place you can think. Literally any place works]

Albany.

[Goddamnit]

Edited 2018-06-07 06:23 (UTC)

[He goes on a face journey trying to decide if this works or not. Like his lips curl up and he bites his tongue and tilts his head and finally goes "yeah i can roll with that.]

Really? Well, I'm from Uttica and I've never heard of the... Krusty Burger.

[Does that work? He thinks that works, he's losing the plot.]

['Where the heck is Uttica and how can I avoid going there', Coraline wonders. She refrains from saying she had never heard of it either, and for what seems to her like the eleventh time she moves the burger on the counter]

Now you heard of it. Congratulations.

[Welp]

Eat your steamed-clams-slash-hamburger, Mr. Backslide. I'll just...go to my room because...I left the oven on. Yeah. It'll all fill with smoke if I don't turn it off, you know?

[And she steps back, trying to leave the kitchen and this crazy man]

[no no no no no NO NO NO NO

He quickly steps in front of the exit.]

You know, these Krusty Burgers are quite similar to the ones they have... at.. Steamed Clams.

Are you even listening to yourself?!

[She yelled that before she could stop herself. After a moment of horror, she looks away, trying to establish some form of sense]

I mean, read the bag! Krussssty Burger. Not Steamed Clams. A genuine Krusty Burger, that's what it is.

Edited 2018-06-07 06:58 (UTC)