WEEK 2

[grimgrinningghosts]

[A week has gone buy, and nothing really horrifying has happened. Sure it's a crappy amusement park but no one's dead yet! While you're scenario is not great to be in, but you have people to bond with, "fresh air", food, and free Moron Mountain merch! So maybe you have fallen into a sense of security, content to hang out in this terrible theme park until Swackhammer decides to let you go because everyone is too boring for his park.

This won't last, however.]

26 guests remain

[SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY]

{OOC: Hello everyone! This is the first murder week of nondis. This Friday (around noon est), we will have our first investigation and, of course, the first body of the round. While you wait, please respond to our first AC, due this Wednesday!

Have fun, you silly toons.}

Comments

[dothebackslide]

[Overnight, Dan Backslide has set up a podium made of cost racks by the bios. It's a rush job and he doesn't really think it works, but it's good enough. There's some snacks sitting in bowls on the ground, mostly because he couldn't be bothered to do more than that.

As soon as enough people show up, he clearly his throat, does some "mi mi mi mi mi mi miiiii!" and folds his hands over the rack.]

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to mourn the loss of one Baby, Comma, Boss. We didn't have much time to know this young go-getter, but he managed to speak to our hearts nonetheless.

He was a man plagued with sorrow. I think we all remember how he suffered under the hands of John Dreamworks and how those experiences shaped the man we knew today. Despite the trauma he had been raised with, he grew into one of the biggest, kindest hearts we've ever known.

[He sniffs a little, wiping away tears.]

Ohhhh the times we all shared with him. I'm sure we all have stories about the good he's done for us. All those wild parties he made for Coraline and the Little Girl. All those times he bailed Penny out of jail. How he helped Wabuu move all 37 of his couches. And, of course, as we all remember, the incredible efforts he took to get Dinobot off those drugs. What an incredible soul.

[He pulls out a handkerchief and honks it loudly.] I-I'm sorry. I'm getting choked up. I'll let other speak up if they want to pay their respects. Except for Otis. We all know what you did to him.

[He sets a box out on the floor labeled "Dead Baby" and goes off to sob in a corner.]

[studentbody]

[Cleo listens to this, and although she has no recollection of any of that, and moreover had never spoken to the baby himself, finds herself sobbing brokenly into a tissue, shoulders shaking.]

It's just...so...sad!

[carbonairhead]

[ Fizzy also doesn't remember any of that, but she's too busy being sad to try and make sense of it! Just clops up to Cleo, sniffling. ]

I-I know... Mr. Swackhammer's just awful for doing that.

[standsforrevenge]

[Oh my god, Gandhi can't take this anymore. he sidles up to the nearest person and whispers:]

Psst. Hey. What's funnier than a dead baby?

[dothebackslide]

A dead jack in the box.

[Long drag of cigar.]

[toogoodtobetrue]

Not you, that's for sure.

[Coraline's grumpy today]

[udderly]

Please don't make a dead baby joke.

[WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LIKE THIS]

[shoshtupid]

Two dead babies?

[shoshtupid]

[ Wabuu laughs silently in the distance ]

[dothebackslide]

I can still hear his joyful baby laugh, even now.

[thegreateggscape]

[Walks past this

...

Walks straight back out.]

[dothebackslide]

Ginger!

[Suddenly there, flopped on the ground in her way.] I know you too were SO CLOSE. Wouldn't you like to say some kind words?

[treefetish]

[desperately whispering] None of that actually happened, right? I mean, none of that happened. Why is he saying it happened?

[captain_cronch]

[Questioning gurgle.

What the fuck is a baby.

What is he talking about.

What is all this.]

[fiftyyearspast]

[Jack offers an unhelpful shrug; he wasn't around to witness the murder and doubts Mr. Backslide.]

It appears to be some kind of...eulogy? I don't know how anyone can die in a place like this.

[handhook]

[looks at the "Dead Baby" box

looks up again]

...What?

[THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST WAY FOR HIM TO LEARN ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED]

[dothebackslide]

[Pat pat on the back.]

Oh Aquaboy. Would you be willing to offer people a hand in this trying time?

[candymancan]

Yes. Hm. Very sad and all that, I suppose. How unfortunate.

[Let's be honest, Wonka could care less about Boss Baby dying. He's pretty much only here because he might get to flirt with Dan at this funeral for a dead baby.

Also he's just gonna. Casually. Subtly. Press the "music" button on Boss Baby's profile.

Y'all want crying babies for ten hours?? Y'all want that?? Well, you're getting it.]

[notthebattleship]

[She just gives him a flat look.

And then a small smile?]

[captain_cronch]

[Dear god make this machine stooooop.

You know what will make this situation better? Screeching like a throttled hoarse bat at the music.]

[notthebattleship]

[Zhu Li's got a bunch of cheap mugs filled with hot tea if anyone needs it. Otherwise she's making herself as unobtrusive as possible.]

[udderly]

How am I the one who did anything?

[THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE HERE WHO KICKED THE BABY AND NEITHER OF THEM ARE HIM]

[in4apounding]

[Softly, but with feeling:]

When did I go to jail?!

[And just. Desperately trying to figure out if there are any gaps in her memory, and if she would even be able to tell if there were.]

[oh_worm]

Wow, you really spared no dollar for the coffin there, huh?

[codeofhero]

Oh just strike me down...