Mock Gaiden Trial

[superstarlineup]

[After everyone has finished investigating the horrendous death of a poor dog (and also a couple of disasters who somehow gotten themselves killed, everyone will hear a loud click from the direction of Superstar Studios. A few moments later, the Agent’s voice is heard.]

Ok that’s enough rehearsal there! Time for the show! Everyone break a leg okay?

[As everyone enters the Studio, the first thing that hits them is the blinding lights, making it impossible to see anything for the first few moments.

Once their eyes adjust, they’ll realize that they are definitely in a really tacky movie studios. There are some cheap cardboard cutouts of monsters and city skylines, cameras that look pretty out of date, and the whole place looks like it was built on a shoestring budget.

In the middle of the studio there are rows of directors chairs for every guest that woke up here, with Rod, Ghost Host, and Stan’s chairs just knocked over. In front of them stands the Agent, grinning in an extremely uncanny way.]

I’m impressed! Three bodies is impressive after that first week of nothin’! I’m gonna make sure that culprit gets an extra special reward if they manage to get away with it.

[A small pause, then:]

Okay, my shining stars. You all have to figure out who killed your fellow actors so they don’t get away with it! If they do, they get their reward while everyone else will be punished instead.

There’s no set time limit, but make sure you don’t make it borin’. The cameras are rolling and I ain’t going to let the people watch another boring average reality show!

Comments

[dannydorito]

...They tried stoppin' her and slipped real hard?

[He is not going to be swayed from this theory. Whether it's because he thinks it's correct or thinks it's funny is unclear.]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

A fax machine was embedded in Mr. Narrator's head.

[dannydorito]

Slipped REALLY hard.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

...Right. Well, we can come back to that theory later. It might be fun to throw wacky accusations at other people first, hm?

[maybe she can manipulate bill into being useful.]

[dannydorito]

How dare you, Spades. How DARE you. This is a SERIOUS INVESTIGATION and I am taking it COMPLETELY SERIOUAHAHAHAHAA-

[Nope, can't keep up the straight face.]

Sure, why not. But I'm not counting Surf N' Turf out just yet, she even managed to wrap herself up so that stupid ball wouldn't get scuffed up.

[Producing the small scrap of green shirt fabric he found at the scene.]

That proves forethought. JACUZZI!

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[She squints at the fabric, suddenly more interested.]

...Well that's curious. I've seen something like that before, I think.

[stinkypete]

Well, well, well...this makes things a lot more interesting. Now d'y'all see it ain't me?

[LOOKS BLATANTLY TOWARDS CONSTANTINE]

[dannydorito]

Ninja Turtle doesn't wear a shirt either, big guy. And that ain't any felt I ever seen.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

Besides: I was thinking more of the other crime scene. There were little fibers on Mr. Narrator.

[mostwantedfrog]

Please. It is piece of fabric- means nothing. I do not wear clothing.

[stinkypete]

What about that collar 'round your neck? What is that?

[awardnothawk]

I hate to break this to you, Camo, but you're made of fabric.

[stinkypete]

[Scratching his chin, squinting.]

Fax machine's pretty heavy....dunno if anyone else 'round here is stronger than ol' Pete, though.

[dannydorito]

Careful there, Stubs, that almost sounds like a confession. And I get the feeling that these losers are ALL ABOUT jumping to crazy conclusions on minimal evidence.

[stinkypete]

Hey, ol' Pete ain't got nothin' to hide! Scout's honor!

[Puts a hand over his heart and puffs his chest out. An ace of spades falls out of his glove, which he quickly picks up again and shoves into his pocket.]

'Sides, that pooch got what was comin' to him. A monstrosity like that, talkin' and walkin' on four legs.... [He shudders.]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

...Do you need a shovel or are you content digging that hole with your bear- sorry, bare hands?

[stinkypete]

Pete's perfectly fine diggin' his own damn hole, thank you very much! And it waren't me, I was snoozin' when da whole thing went down!

[mostwantedfrog]

Ah, the old cat versus dog rivalry... motive if I ever saw one.

[stinkypete]

You ever tasted a knuckle sandwich, frog?

[noweenies]

He was a pupppy!

[regionsbeyond]

Our furry associate has a point. I highly doubt many individuals here have the strength to perform such a task, which leaves us with very few options.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[Eclipsa clasps her hands together.]

Well, you heard her everyone, all the adults take their shirts off and we'll compare muscles.

[stinkypete]

I don't have no shirt.

[awardnothawk]

I refuse, on account of I'm delicate and smashing a fax machine on someone's head probably would have ruined my manicure.

[feudalladyshandmaid]

Yeah, that's not happening.