Gaiden Mock NPCs (
superstarlineup) wrote in
foolishmortals2018-11-03 12:56 pm
Entry tags:
Mock Gaiden Trial
[After everyone has finished investigating the horrendous death of a poor dog (and also a couple of disasters who somehow gotten themselves killed, everyone will hear a loud click from the direction of Superstar Studios. A few moments later, the Agent’s voice is heard.]
Ok that’s enough rehearsal there! Time for the show! Everyone break a leg okay?
[As everyone enters the Studio, the first thing that hits them is the blinding lights, making it impossible to see anything for the first few moments.
Once their eyes adjust, they’ll realize that they are definitely in a really tacky movie studios. There are some cheap cardboard cutouts of monsters and city skylines, cameras that look pretty out of date, and the whole place looks like it was built on a shoestring budget.
In the middle of the studio there are rows of directors chairs for every guest that woke up here, with Rod, Ghost Host, and Stan’s chairs just knocked over. In front of them stands the Agent, grinning in an extremely uncanny way.]
I’m impressed! Three bodies is impressive after that first week of nothin’! I’m gonna make sure that culprit gets an extra special reward if they manage to get away with it.
[A small pause, then:]
Okay, my shining stars. You all have to figure out who killed your fellow actors so they don’t get away with it! If they do, they get their reward while everyone else will be punished instead.
There’s no set time limit, but make sure you don’t make it borin’. The cameras are rolling and I ain’t going to let the people watch another boring average reality show!
Ok that’s enough rehearsal there! Time for the show! Everyone break a leg okay?
[As everyone enters the Studio, the first thing that hits them is the blinding lights, making it impossible to see anything for the first few moments.
Once their eyes adjust, they’ll realize that they are definitely in a really tacky movie studios. There are some cheap cardboard cutouts of monsters and city skylines, cameras that look pretty out of date, and the whole place looks like it was built on a shoestring budget.
In the middle of the studio there are rows of directors chairs for every guest that woke up here, with Rod, Ghost Host, and Stan’s chairs just knocked over. In front of them stands the Agent, grinning in an extremely uncanny way.]
I’m impressed! Three bodies is impressive after that first week of nothin’! I’m gonna make sure that culprit gets an extra special reward if they manage to get away with it.
[A small pause, then:]
Okay, my shining stars. You all have to figure out who killed your fellow actors so they don’t get away with it! If they do, they get their reward while everyone else will be punished instead.
There’s no set time limit, but make sure you don’t make it borin’. The cameras are rolling and I ain’t going to let the people watch another boring average reality show!

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Can't we just get this over with? I wanna see what punishment th' guy gets.
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[he does take a piece of "popcorn", though, and grimaces at the taste.]
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We can't really be expected to solve three murders on the spot, that's ridiculous even if we weren't a bunch of untrained civilians!
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Ah, a real Tardy Boys or Miss Marble mystery then? How thrilling.
[Five second pause as her expression falls slowly.]
...I don't really know how mysteries go, I assume clues of some kind? Is that something we have?
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[Makes sense to him, anyway.]
Looks like she gave Fake Stan a real beating, too, he was CRAZY messed up even aside from the one that did him in.
[...It was some defensive wounds on his body.]
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If it was I who was responsible, why would I choose to remain at the scene of the crime and potentially incriminate myself?
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here kitty kitty
Our monochromatic affiliate was, presumably, killed with a... fax machine. It seems reasonable to assume this was achieved through brute strength, but we shouldn't disqualify other options. Either before or after this occurred, the tarot table was broken when he collapsed onto it.
The dog had, from what I understand, wounds on his body that were most likely defensive, despite his death more than likely being caused by blunt force trauma, from all appearances. Aside from that, we have broken glass to consider as well as the green fabric- two variations, each found at a different crime scene.
Unless there is anything else we ought to make note of, it may be beneficial to work out whether or not these incidents were at all connected.
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Arm injury check
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So, really, that's, like. Four murders. Whoever did this had to be amazingly bored.
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Voting Time
Now that's what I call show business! It got a little weird at the end there but we'll get that in editin'.
Now, let's get ready for the finale! Fill your vote out on these [He just... dumps a stack of notebooks and pens on the floor in front of them.] And we'll see who will get executed!
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Wait, what's going on? [what are they.... voting for....]
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[Pete takes a pen and immediately scratches out a name--]
FROG AND NERD
[...Um. Close enough. He spends the rest of the time crumpling the paper in his notebook into balls and chucking them at anyone nearby, then looking away and whistling when they glance his way.]
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Matt Vogel and Constantine
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-Mike Wazowski Puppet Thing
-Dude With His Hand Up Mike Wazowski's Butt
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[She'll pick the purple marker then!]
Frogurt and his dad
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I can keep this, right? [raises the hand of ghostave's crumpled corpse] I'm keeping it either way.
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Matt and his freaky frog, Constantine
[And enters her vote.]
Well. This sure was... an experience.
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But right is right. Eventually, she writes in it--]
Constantine and his Pupeteer
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EXECUTION: The Lives Don't Matter!
Eh, close enough. Constantine and his weird puppeteer, you’ve been found guilty of the murder of yadda yadda yadda. Now time for the grand finale!
[The lights dim for a moment, and when they come back one, Constantine and his puppeteer vanish. The Agent is gone as well, with the area where he was sitting now replaced with a giant, but poorly made soundstage. Cheery music starts playing as a spot light shines down on the front of the soundstage, showing Matt sitting on a folding chair, Constantine now in his hand again and “sitting” on the chair next to him. Both of them are handcuffed which looks extremely awkward on Matt’s end
In the other chair seats two cardboard cutouts of a bald man and a really tall man, and to the side of them is a table, with… a really terrifying plasticy Drew Carey animatronic.
As the music ends, he speaks:]
Welcome everyone to Whose Line is it Anyway, where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. Much like how our new contestant’s life don’t matter anymore.
[Canned laughter]
This episode is actually a very special one because today is the special “Execution” episode of Whose Line, where two of our contestants will end up as dead as the poor souls they murdered last night.
[A voice comes from the bald cardboard cutout.]
“Now if only we could have an Execution episode of your role in Geppetto”
[Canned cheers and laughter.]
And for that Colin starts the game with -1000 points, and will be the one executed if he’s not careful.
[The canned cheers become louder.]
Now onto our first segment: [Drew Carey pulls a hat out from under the table.] Scenes From a Hat! If you don’t know how this game works then you can just leave now because frankly we don’t want you here.
[Constantine/Matt seems to take that as encouragement to try to escape, ad they jump up and try to run off the stage… only to run straight into a glass wall to seemingly surrounds the stage
There is canned laughter at this.]
The game hasn’t even started yet and already we’ve had our first injury, at this rate this episode is going to be only five minutes long!
[The animatronic Drew Carey drags Matt/Constantine back center stage, and goes back to the hat to pull out a note from it.]
Alright first scene: What is the worst last words you could say while being murdered?
[Drew Carey tosses the note and reaches into the hat again to pull out a knife, advancing back towards the puppet and puppeteer duo.
Constantine looks to the audience and speaks.]
“You are all hacks, goodbye,”
[Canned Laughter. Drew Carey can’t help but laugh either, before he chops off Matt’s hand holding Constantine. Constantine goes limp as Matt screams in horror. The scream is quickly cut off, however, as Drew Carey continues to stab Matt in the chest. He stabs an almost comically large amount of times and by the end of it, Matt’s chest looks more like a bloody pile rather than his body.
The canned audience laughs the entire way through this. Eventually the Drew Carey animatronic gets up, covered in blood and picking up the Constantine puppet.
The canned audience starts chanting “Stab the doll!” and Drew quickly stabs the evil Kermit doll multiple times, pulling out all the stuffing as he does so.
The audience roars in cheers as Drew finally drops the doll]
Well I guess I was right about this episode only being five minutes long. Looks like we should have added more games before getting to the good part.
[The tall cutout “speaks”.]
“You should have killed him during Hoedown. The normal games already make me want to die.”
[Angry Drew Carey animatronic looks terrifying.]
Tune in next time of Whose Line: Execution Edition where we murder Colin and Ryan after all these years!
[He throws the hat at the audience as the scene dims down with canned applause.]
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This airport certainly isn't getting a positive review from me now.
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1/2
2/2
It's none of those things. It's...
Hugh Laurie in a weird jacket??]
I knew you all wouldn't let me down.
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3/2???
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1/2
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