Mock Gaiden Trial

[superstarlineup]

[After everyone has finished investigating the horrendous death of a poor dog (and also a couple of disasters who somehow gotten themselves killed, everyone will hear a loud click from the direction of Superstar Studios. A few moments later, the Agent’s voice is heard.]

Ok that’s enough rehearsal there! Time for the show! Everyone break a leg okay?

[As everyone enters the Studio, the first thing that hits them is the blinding lights, making it impossible to see anything for the first few moments.

Once their eyes adjust, they’ll realize that they are definitely in a really tacky movie studios. There are some cheap cardboard cutouts of monsters and city skylines, cameras that look pretty out of date, and the whole place looks like it was built on a shoestring budget.

In the middle of the studio there are rows of directors chairs for every guest that woke up here, with Rod, Ghost Host, and Stan’s chairs just knocked over. In front of them stands the Agent, grinning in an extremely uncanny way.]

I’m impressed! Three bodies is impressive after that first week of nothin’! I’m gonna make sure that culprit gets an extra special reward if they manage to get away with it.

[A small pause, then:]

Okay, my shining stars. You all have to figure out who killed your fellow actors so they don’t get away with it! If they do, they get their reward while everyone else will be punished instead.

There’s no set time limit, but make sure you don’t make it borin’. The cameras are rolling and I ain’t going to let the people watch another boring average reality show!

Comments

[mostwantedfrog]

... I, uh- I meant three. The dog isn't a person, right? It's a dog. [He fiddles with the sleeve of his shirt again, seemingly uncomfortable.]

[southgatekept]

No, you said two. I didn't mishear that.

[ Her ears puff up. They are very big. ]

Is there more you know? Is there more you're withholding from us?

[dannydorito]

Yes, good, let the anger flow through you.

[southgatekept]

[ shut up dorito man we are not having a hurricane touchdown moment here i'm playing from the dub and will not do that to myself ]

[dannydorito]

[GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING and beat some answers out of this guy, it'll be fun]

[orwellgirl]

[YAAAAAAAAS BEAT THE ANSWERS OUT OF HIM]

[southgatekept]

[ WHY ARE ALL OF YOU LIKE THIS SHE'S A NON-VIOLENT RABBIT ]

[mostwantedfrog]

No, there's- there's nothing more you need to know. [He's distracted and looking off to one side, and his grip on Constantine is slackening. If anyone wanted to, perhaps, take it from him... now might be a good time.]

[dannydorito]

Sure, but anything we'd WANT to know? Come on, dish the goss. We can do nails or whatever it is you losers do when you talk.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

[...she's gonna casually try and pick up her umbrella, trying to look natural, before suddenly using it to tug on the damn puppet.]

[mostwantedfrog]

[Matt yelps, but he's too surprised to grab Constantine back in time. Constantine has successfully been Tugged[tm] away, though he's still essentially a limp ragdoll without a hand controlling him.]

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

Whooooooooooooops!

[She twirls him around on the tip.] My baaaaaad~

[dannydorito]

Hostage! Nice.

[mostwantedfrog]

[Constantine flops uselessly on the end of the umbrella. Matt, meanwhile, is sweating.] Give- give him back. Don't do anything to him, alright? [One of the sleeves of his green, long-sleeved shirt has hiked up without him noticing. Something seems... off, there.]

[awardnothawk]

Oh, we'll give him back if you show me your arm.

[bitch we can read bracket text in this house]

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[Kick his ass sweetie, you're doing great.]

[awardnothawk]

Seriously? You're gonna defend a sentient puppet and not respect a talking dog's right to personhood?

[mostwantedfrog]

I mean, Constantine's still a frog, not a person.

[awardnothawk]

Personhood is different from being a person.

[orwellgirl]

Can we noooooooot? Philosophy is soooooo gross.

[she's holding a corpse]

[awardnothawk]

You think everything is boring, so you can be quiet.

[allknowledgegoodknowledge]

Wow. Racist.

[noweenies]

He still matters! You still took his life! [i'll bet you eat meat too, murderer.]

Kids look up to you and you're being awful!

[kindofadrag]

[OPENLY WEEPING. You guys had to go and start talking about the dog dying, didn't you.]

[noweenies]

[Here Sadness, just have an awkward, babysitterly pat on the shoulder.]

See-- look what you did! Shame on you!