WEEK 1

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well... That sure did happen. After Swackhammer is done ranting about his terrible group of hostages, everyone is free to explore the surrounding area. But true to his word, it still seems to be heavily under construction, and any areas not on the map are surrounded by giant walls. Have fun with your two small areas of Moron Mountain (just be thankful you have clean underwear).

You don't seem to be entirely alone in this park either, as you will find one other employee if you search Swackhammer Avenue well enough.

Not exactly the most populated park, huh?

But hey, you can exit the park at least! Except the only thing they'll find is a seedy hotel in the dense fog. After searching, most people will come to realize that this is your living quarters, what with the bios that line the front wall. But hey at least you know you have food beyond hot dogs and smoothies!

Have fun, little toons! There are surly wacky adventures that await you.]

26 guests remain

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

{OOC: Welcome to NonDisney's Foolish Mortals! As per usual, there will be no murders committed on the first week! (I mean... not case murders, I'm not sure I trust this disaster cast) If you want to investigate, please put up an INVESTIGATION note in the top level, and put up the name of the NPC you want to communicate there as well if you'd like to do that! Hope you enjoy your stay everyone ;)

Comments

[candymancan]

You'll never know if you don't look.

[candymancan]

No, no, the entire river is made of liquid chocolate! The fact that it gets to run and flow through the river for months means that the final product is smoother and tastes so much better.

... Phosphorescent?

[essentiallyinvisible]

[She flips ahead a few pages.] I suppose depending on what happened to his previous employees, it might be a warning about what he could do. [A pause as she reads one line of the ending.] Huh. They rebelled against him in the end.

[dothebackslide]

Oh don't get me STARTED on OL CHUCK.

I THOUGHT [he points to himself three times, with emphasis] I THOUGHT. WE HAD A GOOD THING GOING. WE WERE EXPERIMENTING WITH NEW IDEAS! PUSHING THE BARRIERS OF ENTERTAINMENT!

[He smokes furiously some more.] AND DON'T GET ME WRONG, THE LOONY TUNES? AMAZING. ABSOLUTE LEGENDS. IRREPLACEABLE AND DESERVE EVERY SUCCESS THEY GOT.

BUT I WAS GOOD TOO! I WAS FUNNY!

[treefetish]

... That sounds very excessive and probably unnecessary, but also very cool.

You know, glow? I mean, it is a river, right? Rivers glow.

[essentiallyinvisible]

Weird about girls? How exactly? [Look some of it probably goes over her little 10-year-old head okay.]

[candymancan]

It's very necessary to get the proper taste, but I'm glad you appreciate it.

Not... as far as I know? Rivers are just water.

[Wonka wonders if this gonna be another "how do you not know what the huntsmen are" situation.]

[essentiallyinvisible]

[Well, it seems that he has people he admires as well.] He just...kicked you out? And replaced you? [Man that's some deep vitriol.]

[in4apounding]

...People with some kind of animal trait? They usually look mostly human, but I thought-

[You don't think all these animals are just animals that can talk, right.]

Do they not have those where you're from?

[treefetish]

Well, you're pretty young, so he probably hasn't tried flirting with you really, really obviously. I mean, really obviously. [says girl who literally still doesn't know ted loves her]

[dothebackslide]

"LOOK I'M ME, I'M CHUCK JONES! I WISH I COULD ERASE EVERYTHING I DID BEFORE 1948 BECAUSE THAT WASN'T MY BEST WORK!"

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY?! LIKE I WAS NOTHING!

[treefetish]

... Where do you put your factory runoff, then?

[essentiallyinvisible]

Not unless you're talking about people wearing costumes. But it's not that weird for animals to just talk either, right?

[Look her friend wrote a whole story involving a talking fox and a talking snake and talking flowers.]

[essentiallyinvisible]

Oh, I guess that makes sense...he hasn't annoyed you too much, has he?

[bringmecontracts]

I specialize in every kind of game there is out there, but my boss told me that I'm only allowed to play Blackjack with the "new meat". It's an easy game to understand, after all.

[He eyes the girl.]

Something I even you would understand.

[dothebackslide]

The pretty little basketball? Wow. But my feet are so raw. RAW FEET. My ears are scared and the baby ostriches caallll.

[He picks up the ball though.]

[dothebackslide]

[Blink. Blink.

And then huge grin.]

...WOW! OH WOW Y-YOU'RE REALLY HIM! I THOUGHT YOU'D LOOK MUCH OLDER!

[essentiallyinvisible]

[She actually looks shocked.] That's really horrible! And you weren't the only one he said that about?

[essentiallyinvisible]

[She blinks, then looks determined.] Blackjack? Yeah, I know about how it works. It was invented in France, too. So I'll definitely take you up on that game. [She takes out a coin from one of her backpack's side pockets.] What's the minimum bet for this?

[dothebackslide]

Well, yes, but who cares about them. They were way before Rabbit of Seville. Now THAT was a REAL BANGER.

[dothebackslide]

GONNA TAKE MORE THAN A SCARE TO KNOCK ME DOWN. LE DOY.

[essentiallyinvisible]

Rabbit of Seville...any relation to this "Bugs Bunny"?

[dothebackslide]

Oh FOR SURE. That was one of his ABSOLUTE BEST FILMS. VOTED NUMBER 12 OF THE GREATEST BY CRITICS!

[bringmecontracts]

Do ya wanna prize for being born where the game was created or something?

[He shuffles the deck again, still smiling.]

I need one of your tokens to play. I don't work for free.

[treefetish]

Oh, gosh, no! Actually... I know it's pretty vain, but it's a little flattering, right? It's obviously not something I'm used to.