WEEK 1

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well... That sure did happen. After Swackhammer is done ranting about his terrible group of hostages, everyone is free to explore the surrounding area. But true to his word, it still seems to be heavily under construction, and any areas not on the map are surrounded by giant walls. Have fun with your two small areas of Moron Mountain (just be thankful you have clean underwear).

You don't seem to be entirely alone in this park either, as you will find one other employee if you search Swackhammer Avenue well enough.

Not exactly the most populated park, huh?

But hey, you can exit the park at least! Except the only thing they'll find is a seedy hotel in the dense fog. After searching, most people will come to realize that this is your living quarters, what with the bios that line the front wall. But hey at least you know you have food beyond hot dogs and smoothies!

Have fun, little toons! There are surly wacky adventures that await you.]

26 guests remain

[MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY]

{OOC: Welcome to NonDisney's Foolish Mortals! As per usual, there will be no murders committed on the first week! (I mean... not case murders, I'm not sure I trust this disaster cast) If you want to investigate, please put up an INVESTIGATION note in the top level, and put up the name of the NPC you want to communicate there as well if you'd like to do that! Hope you enjoy your stay everyone ;)

Comments

[dothebackslide]

[Dan Backslide (coward bully cad and thief) starts his day pretty normally. He wakes up, lights a cigar, showers, lights a new cigar, and greets the morning sun.

Which today means hitting every single button on the profiles at once. His suit drips water everywhere as he casually jams out to the cacophony of noise blasting right at him.

Later on he'll be in the kitchen, absolutely destroying the place, covering it in various foods and snacks and burned toasts and bacons of all kinds. You might catch it while he's rummaging his grubby hands everywhere or even when it seems like he's already left. Seems like being the key word.

As the antics die down though, Dan's not... really sure what to actually make of all this, what with his jacketspace oddly limited to only smokes, candy and other small items. And god he feels old. He doesn't really recognize any of these clowns other than Smackhammer and that Amazing Comedy Legend he doesn't care what people say, that sponge made it bigger than anybody and he NEVER sold out, god what a champ. But some of the other guys are like, really serious. Like, bizarrely serious. What's up with that?

So he spends his afternoon just smoking away in the shopping district. Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool. Maybe he'll shoot some b-ball outside of school.]

Kitchen

[toogoodtobetrue]

Wow...the raccoon must have been here.

[Look at this major mess. Raccoons do that kind of thing all the time, don't they? Coraline looks around in disbelief. She's so glad she doesn't have to clean this place]

[dothebackslide]

[Dan Backslide walks in with a water bottle in his hands.]

Well Caroline, I made it, despite your directions.

[toogoodtobetrue]

It's Coraline.

[Tired siiiiigh. Why's her name so difficult to pronounce to so many people]

And I didn't tell you to get here.

[dothebackslide]

Mm.

[He moves past her to sit down on one of the counters, waiting patiently for something.]

[toogoodtobetrue]

...if you want food the fridge is over there.

[What do you want, Dan? Got anything in mind?]

[dothebackslide]

[He suddenly stands up, face filled with rage.]

COOOORRRRAAAALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEE!

[toogoodtobetrue]

What?!

[She doesn't back down, instead staring him right to the face]

[dothebackslide]

Why is smoke coming out of your oven, Coraline?

[There is no smoke coming of the oven. But at least he's getting the name right?]

Profiles

[essentiallyinvisible]

[She has both her hands over her ears, wincing.] ...why are you doing that? Wait, why are you wet?

[dothebackslide]

SHOWERS, OBVIOUSLY. DO YOU NOT WASH?

[As he shakes his hips.]

[essentiallyinvisible]

You shower...while wearing your clothes? [Grown-ups are so odd.]

[dothebackslide]

UH THEY GOTTA STAY CLEAN, LIL SMELLY GARBO GREMLIN.

[essentiallyinvisible]

[Man, he's infuriating.] Don't you have other clothes you can wear while that dries, at least? [Look, even she's given in and has taken a few of the souvenir shop clothes as extra outfits.] You're dripping everywhere.

[dothebackslide]

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO ANIMATE NEW CLOTHES! WAY TO DESTROY THE BUDGET!

[essentiallyinvisible]

...the clothes are free though? Or at least there's no one asking for money. [And if they're going to escape on their own terms they don't have to worry about the bill, right?]

[dothebackslide]

EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE.

AND I'M NOT WILLING TO PAY THE TOLL OF BAD FASHION. WHAT IF GENE WILDER SAW ME!

Profiles

[oh_worm]

[ her hands are on her ears, oh god ]

I think there might be a little too much gravy on your mash-up!

[dothebackslide]

THE TEN HOURS OF BABY CRYING ONE IS DEFINITELY THROWING THE PACING OFF, I WON'T LIE.

[Still shaking his hips nonchalantly.]

[oh_worm]

Why the dip is that one even here? That would throw the pacing off of... all of them. Any of them. Why?

[dothebackslide]

[Shrugs.] Its funny.

[oh_worm]

... Heh, yeah, it totally is. Babies are hilarious.

[ She can admit that. ]

Have you ever heard the song that plays off yours before?

[dothebackslide]

OF COURSE! ITS A STYLISH MASHUP OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST HITS!

[oh_worm]

Cool. Mine's... I like it, but I've never heard it before. Definitely not the kind of jam that spins in New Miami, you know?

profiles

[captain_cronch]

[Centi can't read human language at all so she's content to just. Try parsing all the noise at once.

And letting her eyeball roll around blank-eyed at the chaos Dan has created. Nice nice.]