SURVIVORPOOL INVESTIGATION

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Well! You’ve been offered a way out by the god of death. That in and of itself seems relatively suspicious, but, you don’t have much else to do at this point. Some of you might be craving the sweet release of death at this point.

Randall’s room has been unlocked, courtesy of Facilier, and the door within is wide open. So, what are you going to do? D-danger lurks behind you, there may be a stranger out to find you.

I’d suggest you get moving.]

Comments

[bayoublues]

[Right. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool]

What didja find, man?

[angelgoatdemon]

Someone's journal! It's pretty ancient.

[bayoublues]

[He examines the cover for a moment.]

Captain Hook? That's the name of the guy Facilier said. Something like I was...uh, his worst nightmare. For some reason.

[...In the meantime Louis is going to go over and inspect the locked door. Any significant markings or signs that make it Special?]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[You feel warm when you touch it, and there’s an inscription alongside the door:

‘Through the darkness of future's past,
The magician longs to see.
One chants out between two worlds...
"Fire... walk with me."’

...Well, the door to Hell had to be somewhere.]

[bayoublues]

[Hmmmmmmmmmm. Okay he's just gonna step back real slow and yell out:]

Hey, guys? I...I think I found Hell.

[hasit]

File that under 'words I never thought I'd hear.'

[Just gonna come over and take a look at that inscription.

That's. Ominous.]

[bayoublues]

S'locked. We gotta find the key or something.

[He pauses, staring at the poem.]

What d'you suppose it means?

[hasit]

[Leia shakes her head slowly.]

I couldn't say. It's either a riddle or some pretty words designed to...instill dread, or awe, or fear.

Anyone found a key?

[athleticallyinclined]

We don't need a key!

[ Gaston is here and he's cradling Lemew like a baby. It's adorable. ]

Let's break the door down!

[hasit]

If you want to be fool enough to break down the door to hell, be my guest.

But at least put the poor cat down first.

[athleticallyinclined]

[ Gaston scoffs. ]

He's fine.

[ He sets the cat on his shoulder, where it settles in with its claws dug tightly into his jacket. Apparently Lemew's used to this sort of treatment, because he manages to hang on as Gaston rears back and kicks the door as hard as he can. ]

[grimgrinningghosts]

[...that works.

it - it works.

the door to hell has been kicked open. now you’re going to hear about it from gaston for eight hours.]

[athleticallyinclined]

[ Starting now. ]

It worked!

[ He told you so.

Time to pick up Lemew (who is shaking only slightly) and forge ahead. ]

[hasit]

...Huh.

[words she never thought she'd say:]

Well done. Are we just going to walk right in, then?

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Sure. Walk right into the imposing, incredibly warm black void.

What could go wrong?]

[hasit]

[#YOLO

She goes in after Gaston, turning to look at the rest of the group.]

Stay close, all of you.

[notreadyatall]

Now that knucklehead went in, it’s gotta be safe.

[probably...]

Lead the way, General.

[hasit]

Onward it is.

[She wishes she had a light, or a torch, or, hell, a functional lightsaber, but she forges ahead after Gaston, peering into the darkness and keeping a close eye out for any...well, anything.]

[angelgoatdemon]

[Since he can see pretty well with some light, he goes to the front near Leia's side with the staff-torch.]

[bayoublues]

[Here comes Louis, clinging to Lekmet.]

[athleticallyinclined]

[ Still marching ahead, holding his kitten. It's pretty dark, but Lekmet's light is at least enough to make sure he doesn't step right into any bottomless pits or anything.

Probably.

Look don't let him fall into any bottomless pits, you don't want Lemew to suffer too. ]

WELCOME TO HELL WELCOME TO HELL WELCOME TO HELL 1/2

[grimgrinningghosts]

[Did you guys think you were going straight into the box?

It’s much more...blue than you expected.It’s an endless blue river, accompanied by darkness. The River Styx, if you will. Everything else is rocky, black, dark. Warm. Tortured souls fill the river, and imps wander about, seemingly unaware of he newcomers’ presence.

A light piano melody starts.]

[memotome]

[...and Hades appears, accompanied by a group of demons. They all wear matching straw hats with blue stripes, and a big band begins playing.

Hades is the first to open his mouth.]

Hey! Give me a listen, you corpses of cheer
At least those of you who still got an ear
So gather round, c’mon, fill the halls
Please say hello to these Foolish Mor-tals

[the imp chorus picks it up:]

Die, die we all pass away
But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay
And you might try and hide
And you might try and pray
But we all end up the remains of the day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (that's right)
Yeah yeah yeah

[hades continues, summoning a cane and tapping.]

Well, our friends here have come from miles around
They watched their friends die and are feelin’ quite down
Just couldn’t deal, with losin bits of their cast
So they knew what to do, they’d get here and fast
When ol’ Randall said no, they just couldn't cope
But they never ever ever lose sight of their hope

Die, die we all pass away
But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay
And you might try and hide
And you might try and pray
But we all end up the remains of the day
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

Oh, that's right!
Okay. Oh, yeah!
Come on, Pain, pick it up!
Yeah. Like it!
Okay, Panic, take it!
Yeah. Yeah! That's nice!
Yeah!

Even though their friends were as dead as dust
They just couldn’t let their whole murder cast be bust
So they made a vow to set their friends free
Causing all these big scenes and not lettin us be
Always usin that mirror, just to see em again
And now they’ve finnnaalllyy arrived
It won’t be long now, now that they’re in Hell’s bowels
And that's the story of these Foolish Mor-tals

Die, die we all pass away
But don't wear a frown cause it's really okay
And you might try and hide
And you might try and pray
But we all end up the remains of the day!

[...and after a big finish, the imps and all the props disappear.]

Hey. Hi. Hades here. How is everyone?

[hasit]

[Leia kind of...doesn't know what to do with herself? She's not from a place where people Spontaneously Burst Into Song And Dance.

When it's over, she's just staring at Hades, a little flabbergasted.]

Well that was...a warm welcome. We came for our family and friends.

[sorrydoods]

Depends. Will you let us get our friends without a fight?