Final Trial

[bringmecontracts]

[After everyone is done investigating the rooms, they will hear a faint creeek from the mansion’s entrance. Once they heads towards the noise they will discover a set of stairs leading to the basement that definitely weren’t there earlier.

Once they head downstairs, they will find themselves in a long hallway that seems to stretch out forever. It doesn’t, luckily, but eventually the hallway ends at a large empty room, with just a throne in the center.

The living guests will immediately realize they're not alone because King Dice is here already laying across the throne and smoking a cigar. He grins at the survivors and stand up.]

Well congrats, kids! I must say I’m impressed that that you managed to get down here alive, considering who was leading ya.

Now, I’m sure y’all have a lot of questions about what’s going on but I gotta settle something first:

[He looks directly at Michael.]

Mikey, I believe we have to finish our arrangement now.

Comments

[georgecsmoke]

I can get you so much more than what this dirtbag can - and might just be able to answer your questions.

[in4apounding]

I mean mostly what I want right now is to stop all of this and prevent it from ever happening again, so I guess you're right about that at least.

[Maybe if she can wave the desktop fast enough it'll be able to- kind of disperse him in the air? Would that kill him?]

...If you're the one in charge, are you the one who picked us to get brought here? And had those weird bios made in the hotel lobby?

[georgecsmoke]

What we’ve got right here and now, kid, is organized religion and drug addiction. Those never truly die.

All me, toots.

[in4apounding]

If something doesn't die you're probably not killing it hard enough. ...Though it's mostly the kidnapping and killing part I'm concerned about stopping, so I'm not sure how that works?

[Give her a big enough gun and a place to mount it and she shall More Dakka the world.]

So why us specifically, then?

[georgecsmoke]

No good reason. Matter of fact, I didn’t even want you guys! I wanted some real Cartoon All-Stars.

[in4apounding]

Mister Swackhammer said the same thing when we got here. ...I mean almost EXACTLY the same thing. Mister Backslide kept talking about "toons," too...

[Dot dot dot...]

Um- two questions. Why couldn't you get the people you actually wanted? Because I was just assuming Mister Swackhammer was too dumb, but you're saying you at least intended to take us even if we're not who you wanted- and. Who exactly are the Cartoon All-Stars? Are they a group like those Looney Tune people in those books?

[georgecsmoke]

I can’t drive while high. Well, I can, because I’m the bad guy. “Don’t drive high, kids” is something a loser would say.

[lepo psa]

They’re Mikey’s friends! Actual ones.

[in4apounding]

You were the one driving the bus? ....Okay, yeah, that actually makes sense.

[I can't believe the villain from a 90's anti-drug PSA technically saved Remnant or at least delayed the onset of its doom.]

...You were going to bring all of Mikey's friends here and- what, make him watch them die?

[bringmecontracts]

Yeah, isn’t that hilarious?

[in4apounding]

No? That's- that's pretty much the exact opposite of hilarious. This kind of thing is why people keep calling you a wad.

[bringmecontracts]

And that’s why I don’t care about anyone but weed and Smoke here.

[in4apounding]

[Okay this is exactly what she was talking about to Michael earlier, KD. This isn't even a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of thing it really is just basic cause and effect.]

Have you ever tried NOT being a huge wad?

[Thanks Penny, that should really bring him around.]

[bringmecontracts]

If the alternative is bein’ a complete buzzkill, I would rather die

[standsforrevenge]

I dunno how to break this to you, dude, but you ARE a huge buzzkill.

[in4apounding]

You don't have to be boring to not be a jerk! Cleo and Otis and Gandhi and Beth and Dinobot have all been super nice and THEY'RE not boring at all! My friend Ruby's the nicest person I know and she's interesting enough to get admitted to a Hunstmen Academy a whole two years early!

[bringmecontracts]

Noooot exactly convincin’ me if ya biggest example of someone who’s not borin’ Is someone who went to school early.

[in4apounding]

RUBY IS VERY INTERESTING AND- do you even know what the Huntsmen Academies are like?

[There's normal school stuff but there's also a lot of guns and blades and fighting monsters. You know, girl stuff.]

[bringmecontracts]

If you’re a student there? It has nothin’ I’d want.

[in4apounding]

And what DO you want, besides getting high and- and forgetting about your hairy goat friend?

[bringmecontracts]

[His eyes narrow.]

Don’t talk about him.

[in4apounding]

Why not? Who is he.

[What, did he call you a wad too, you don't get to shittalk Ruby and then put friends as an out of bounds topic.]

[bringmecontracts]

You don't care about me, so I got no reason to tell ya.

[in4apounding]

....you know, you're right. I don't care. You've been nothing but cruel to all of us since we got here, and you killed Kubo and Mister Bender, and you definitely got Audrey killed even though she was the closest thing you had to a friend, and you've given me no reason to care about you ever.

[Plus the whole taking weird glee in watching them all die? That's definitely a big factor here.]

But I've got your photos and I think you want those back, so I'm gonna ask again. Who is he and what happened?

[She pulls out one of the photos from an interior pocket and holds it up to demonstrate she's not lying.]

[bringmecontracts]

I fail to understand how sayin’ that ya stole from me again is supposed ta endear me to ya

[He takes a long inhale of his cigar.]

Doesn’t matter who he was, he’s gone now.

[candymancan]

Ok, then. Why is there an occultist worship room dedicated to Hades, both in the mansion and in the weed dispensary? And why is there a severed head who claims to be his acolyte?